Wow. Groom felt ‘pressured into marriage’ sooooo he kills himself.

The sister of a New York City groom who killed himself hours after exchanging marriage vows said Tuesday that he was distraught over feeling “pressured into marriage.”

Fernando Brazier, 28, jumped into the Harlem River over the weekend, hours after marrying his bride, Trudian Hay, with whom he had two young daughters. ( this bytch didn’t feel too pressured about being with this woman! He had not one but two damn kids with her, and trust me… being a dad is MUCH harder than being a husband you ol ignant bytch)

Brazier’s sister, Shawna Weeks, told that he often came to her home every Thursday after work to talk about his concerns — his eyes “blood shot” and in a state of despair.

“They had nothing in common,” Weeks said. “That’s why they postponed the wedding a year ago. He was being pressured into it.”

Weeks said Brazier considered 26-year-old Hay to be a “great person,” but “just not for him.”

He reportedly left a suicide note for Hay at the front desk of the Radisson Hotel in New Rochelle, where the couple celebrated their wedding on Saturday.

Weeks told the New York Post that Brazier also “left his ring in the envelope.”

Efforts by to reach Hay’s family were unsuccessful.

Police sources told the newspaper that Brazier’s note said he could be found at the bottom of the river, not far from a Pathmark supermarket and Dyckman Street on the Manhattan side.

Witnesses reported seeing Brazier walk out of the Radisson and into a cab sometime before 9 a.m. local time Sunday.

He made his way to 55 Richman Plaza about 15 minutes away in the Bronx, where he jumped either from a building or the promenade behind it, police sources told the Post.

Brazier’s body was later found in the waters near Roberto Clemente State Park, slightly upstream from where he was believed to have jumped, according to the newspaper.

Brazier and Hay had reportedly dated since they were teenagers and had two children together, ages 5 and 2. [source]


OK, not to speak ill of the dead but… this is just ridiculous, man. If she wasn’t the ONE for him, what the fugg was the point of having not one but two damn children with this woman!??? This is the shyt that really pisses me off about my black men in particular, and be ready to be offended, but we seem to have little to no regard in creating children with these women, no gatdamn fear what so ever, but then have the nerve to fear a real committment to these same women.

Look, i understand how it is. Vagina feels and tastes awwwwwwwwwesome.  But I’ll preach this shyt right here from my high-horse and give not a fugg if it makes you feel bad, but lookithere: I have never been so dumb as to not wear a condom whilst having sex with a woman I didn’t think was worthy of creating life with me, and if you have, that’s your own ignant-ass stupid-ass fault. DEAL with it.

If she isn’t the one worthy to commit to, she isn’t worthy to be rawdogging and creating children with! Let’s be real.

It’s just ridiculous.

If you can create a life with someone, you can share a life with them.

Don’t want to take that type of step and or commitment, fellaz, Wrap up your dick, son.

When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.

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  1. says

    The sister's comments make me think that she didn't like the (now) widow – why immediately run to the press & tell them that your brother didn't want to get married? Its essentially blaming the wife/BM for wanting to get married. Tho I also don't understand haivng a 2nd child with a woman who didn't marry you after the first. It takes 2 to tango & they both shouldn't have been laying up having multiple kids of they (or he) didn't want to get married.

    • Leo_YardieChick says

      "Tho I also don't understand having a 2nd child with a woman who didn't marry you after the first."

      A whole lot in this story doesn't add up.

  2. TroyPowers says

    Whatever, dude. That was a grown ass man. Didn't nobody pressure him into shit. Grab your nuts and say you're not trying to get married. Case closed. In general, I think suicide is some punk shit. Suicide when you've got two young children depending on you is BEYOND punk shit. Once you have kids, your life isn't YOUR life to take any more. I, also, don't want to speak ill of the dead. It's sad a life was lost, and I know his family is in pain. So, it would just be dead wrong for me to call him a punk-ass bitch. But, I'm pissed, and SOMEBODY is going to get called a punk-ass bitch in his place before this day is out.

    • says

      No healthy person takes their own life so it is wrong to say suicide is some punk****. This guy obviously had severe mental issues and did not know how to deal with them on his own….a common problem in the black community. I am a suicide prevention counselor in case you are wondering and deal with folks who are on the edge a lot.

  3. AKADRFUNK says

    I "wrap up" or "gel down" (when I go raw) …because I recognize that even seemingly intelligent / socially conscious women go BRAIN DEAD when it comes to birth control.PATHETIC…because there are more reliable options available to them than men.Interesting that the last 60 YEARS…technology has made it possible to separate sex from reproduction.Yet too many women can't seem to grasp that this new reality has made men desirous and expectant that SEX IS FOR RECREATION.So they go ahead and ruin lives because their "vanity agenda" is more important than what anyone else involved wants.

    • afrocandy says

      I don't understand this either, because I'm one of the few women in my peer group that's been able to realize that NEVER having unprotected sexual contact EVER means that I don't have to worry about getting pregnant. There's only 1 way to make a baby. You don't forget your coat one day and then next month you're period is late. you don't eat come bad roast beef and "Oh shit!" you're about to have a baby! NO! Tighten up!

  4. says

    Y'all are looking at this from the wrong angle. This man suffered from depression, I'm sure of it. Either everyone around him ignored the signs or they didn't want to see 'em and the sister…that stupid heffa needs a beat-down, blaming the mother of her nephews! Dumb bytch! She's the one who doesn't like the bride, which is why she went running to the press. She really needs to be put in her fuggin' place for the hurt she's causing here…

    • Darealyst Dude says

      I agree he suffetred from depression & his sister didn't see it – or chose to blame the (now) widow. And of course, we think therapy & medication is evil & we can just pray it away…so this was a mess waiting to happen.

      HOWEVER, when your kids are 5 & 2 — and you've been dating this woman since a teenager, there is plenty of opportunity to break it off. I'm sorry that he felt suicide was the only option, yet he could've left town longggg before that

  5. foolishnessandfuckery says

    Nah, it wasn't just the marriage part, he had things wrong with him….Depression can suck you into a black hole and it's sometimes hard to get out…so to the person that said that's some punk shit, you really need to stop it…After my mother passed and then my brother, I just didn't want to be here….AT.ALL!! I have told people many times, sometimes my smile is a mask….and my kids keep me here….Some people can deal with depression and others can't…..

    • says

      Nope. nope nawl.

      Suicide is always the punk-bytch way of handling a situation.

      And this comes from a person who occasionally suffers from anxiety attacks and depression for the past 3 years, the first year being bad enough that a daily regimine of zoloft was necessary to simply get out of bed every morning after i lost my mom.

      This also coming from a person who stood on the pier of a lake in Oakland many years ago and was a few seconds from jumping in that cold dark abyss but received a call from his best friend just as I was putting all my belonging on the side of the walk with a bye bye note 10 years ago.

      SUicide is the ultimate punk shyt.

      whether folks want to admit it to themselves or not isn't the point, it is what it is, and as soon as you can admit that to yourselves, the sooner recovery can be seen over the horizon n shyt.

      There is TRUTH in the fact that the ability to overcome life's greatest hardships only makes you stronger. because it takes an amazing amount of strength perseverance and desire to live in order to keep going when all you want to do is lay there and chuck up the deuces.

      The way to deal with depression is realising you can't think of a way to make it on your own, and you go and get help. Black people have this bullshyt mentality in thinking that mental illnesses are fake illnesses, white folk problems and can be prayed away.

      pray these nuts.

      get some medical professional help and admit there is a problem. It's hard as hell to do but it can be done.

      I did it, and am a better person for it every day. and as some of the folks here who knew what I was going through can tell you, I was in a bad azz bad place. But I had to say bunk looking like a punk or looking weak, and bunk what anyone thought of me for suffering from depression.

      I leaned on my friends, and family and got some help azz help.

      rather than to take the punk bytch way out of it all.

      This man had children… daughters to take care of… and he allowed his illness to get the better of him rather than get help.

      he took the punkbytch way out.

      there is no need to sugarcoat the truth, babe.

      • foolishnessandfuckery says

        We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one…yes, he had children, and like I said, mine are what keep me here…I dont want my kids to be in therapy for the rest of their lives, because I decided I didn't want to be here anymore…But, if you dont have kids that you have to look out for, I say its your choice if you want to live this life or not….

        • says

          he had kids.. ergo ipsofacto..he made a punk-bytch move.
          there really isn't thing to agree to disagree on. there is no logical support in the idea that suicide is not the ultimate cop out.

          you don't have to agree with me. but as someone who survived depression and continues to, all I need is that. But when you're ready to see your life is worth it regardless of your children or not, you'll look back on this and smile, and you'll feel stronger for making it out the other end.

          ::dapz and hugs ::

          • TroyPowers says

            This muhfucka said "ergo ipsofacto!" I don't know why, but I'm DYING laughing. Went and got Latin on that ass! 😀

        • says

          You should talk to someone. If you got insurance, use it. Please. You'll probably feel a whole lot better once on medication, if that's what's needed. Or maybe you just need someone to talk to. And I'd miss your foolishness and fuc*ery so there.

          • foolishnessandfuckery says

            I take St Johns Wort and cuss people out…That's my therapy! LOL *fancy air kisses to both cheeks* so glad you love my F&F! LOL

            • says

              Atta girl! I know some people who swear by kava kava too and I got some hippie friends who also swear by valerian root. They say it acts like a natural valium. It didn't for me but I dont' have the patience to take something for a month before it works. AND don't mix them (!!) and read up on it if you decide to try it.

              Lots bitches everywhere that need cussing out so that'll keep you busy for a few years, LOL. I can think of one right here in fact (but not my Slaus!)

              • foolishnessandfuckery says

                Just read up on Kava Kava….Nice….might have to try it….It might keep me from wanted to snatch my boss' lace front….

                • says

                  No, but it is natural and decriminalized in my lovely State of Massachusetts.

                  And Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm spending the weekend at my mom's so thank God for weed, pills and alcohol!

      • says

        i'm telling you guys right now. if you ever hear about me committing suicide one day, feel free to call that shyt what it is and not make excuses on my behalf.

        call that shyt a punk-bytch move and feel free to refer to me as a punk bytch for doing it.

        :: shrugs :;

        you'll never hear about it happening, but if it did… call it what it is.

        • says

          Man Slaus…I had no idea. I'm sorry but I'm glad you didn't jump and I'm real glad you got help. There does seem to be a thing that many Black men have that they think this means they're weak and they don't often get help as a result. I'm glad you were strong enough to.

          • says

            :; dapz :: it's not something I find a need to openly speak about for the sake of doing so, but when the topic comes up, i'm always willing to share my story with other people if it means they to can recover and make it.

            hardest thing you can ever do is live in a state where your body feels like nothing but a shell and you think you'd be better off not existing in it.

            also everyone think that simply because I have an awesome family and sorts, that I didn't have to struggle and kick through high waters to get here and maintain it.

            Life is hard.

            But it's hard for a reason, and most times.. it's not fair either.

            But being human is knowing your strengths and weaknesses and as far as im concerned the greatest strength I have ever shown in my life was asking for help when i was at my weakest.

            I don't sit around living by the black male check list and manlaws.

            …and that has always helped me to be a better stanislaus.

          • says

            and i can't sit here as the leader of this site, and hide behind a wall for the sake of looking weak and or human in front of the public.

            I care about each and every one of you btyches, even the ones i don't like and wanna fight in the face.

            and I hate that black folks don't get the mental illness help they need to.

            so if folks can look at me and say: "damn even slaus has been through it?? I'm not alone? I should get help." then you can judge and call me all types of weak bytches.

            if one of you can relate to what ive been through, and get the help you need like I did…. i'll be what ever negative things folks wanna call me.

            :: shrugs n shyt ::

            :: poots :;

            • says

              Awwww. You're just a big ol' teddy bear. I hope people listen too…I've known too many people who act out in ways that tell me they're depressed but they don't want to talk about it and they shut down. This needs to be talked about more among men. I understand why they're turned off when they see the celebrity of the week talking about this shyt, plugging her latest book so it's important a real person like you speak out so they hear you.

            • says

              "…so if folks can look at me and say: "damn even slaus has been through it?? I'm not alone? I should get help." then you can judge and call me all types of weak bytches."

              Thank you. Just… thank you. People do not do this enough. I share my story (pretty much where you were, I had everything planned out) from time to time and people get SHOCKED because I'm usually the 'boulder' in my relationships. But it helps so much to see someone you perceive to be stronger than yourself admit to the ultimate point of 'weakness'. And you may be that kind of rock-solid person to a lot of people… so THANK YOU.

        • Zuly says

          If you EVER commit suicide, I am bringing you back to life so I can beat the goddamn life right outta you.

          That's all. Get offa me.

      • Tracie Smith says

        Yes. All this. All of it. While I want to sucker punch people who say "the lord don't give you more than you can handle", because it's a damn lie, I say once you find the strength to get help handling the overflow, you are much much stronger for it.

        I, too, know exactly how dark the road can effin' be, and am grateful for all the light shining on me now, and while I'm a little more sympathetic than Slaus, I basically agree. There are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS other options. Always.

  6. DaBlackGeisha says

    Everyone in this piece needs a whoopin'
    -and bring him back from beyond for his…
    :Church lady lip purse:

  7. DillaPickles says

    He was likely clinically depressed; the signs are all there. Being black (I'm stereotyping here), he probably was told to "suck it up" a lot and no one got him the help he needed.


  8. says

    "…what the fugg was the point of having not one but two damn children with this woman!???:

    Sometimes it takes one child to suspect she ain't the one, and two children to know for sure. Not making excuses for killing yourself and/or leaving kids behind, just offering a perspective.

    Having said that, yeah… he sounds like a man who was depressed and felt he had no way out. Not out of the marriage, out of the environment that had him depressed. If that sister is running her mouth to strangers across the tri-state area now that he's gone, you can only imagine what negativity she and possibly other family members were hitting him over the head with while he was here. If marrying her was the right thing to do for half the people he loved, and not marrying her was the right thing to do for the other half, then he was literally beside himself. If you stay of two minds about a situation long enough, eventually you'll end up out of your right mind.

    • says

      "Sometimes it takes one child to suspect she ain't the one, and two children to know for sure."

      LMAO! I'm reading and re-reading this and I still don't know if you're serious but this is the best laugh I've had in days. Thanks.

  9. says

    Dated since they were teenagers and had two kids…and he STILL couldn't figure out if she was the right one or not?

    The sister however sounds like a real piece of work.

  10. says

    A lot of comments on this post upset me. I hope and pray you never go through what I go through and I REALLY hope none of you who feed the already terrible stigma surrounding suicide go into counseling. It is NOT always about just not wanting to deal with life's problems why folks take their lives. Hopefully one day people will see that and stop calling suicide a cop out or a punk move. It takes way more guts to end your life than to do anything.

    Signed someone who has survived the suicides of both my brother and closest cousin and who now does suicide prevention awareness and counseling.