Just for clarification Dating Chernanigans is going on hiatus,but that doesn’t mean I stop dating. It means I stop trying to find a man cuz it’s cold and it’s hard to look cute when you fall down on ice. But dontchaknow when you stop trying all the little termite men come out of the woodwork. Kyle, from last week, is planning our second date and if that goes well I’m cooking for our third date (lasagna). Also, I can’t remember the name of the drunk Chernaniguy from the club, but his friend texted me tonight about going for a ride on his bike. I was just drinking hot apple cider under 5 blankets and thinking I want to feel the icy, Chicago, December winds whipping through my weave at 60 MPH, fugg no. And just in time for the holidays everyone’s favorite guy Toilet Bear is back. I sent him to VM on Monday and again on Friday, but Saturday I got a text
“I really think you are a very attractive woman and would make any man happy and I do miss seeing you and spending time with you as well. Also, I regret not making you my girlfriend and I fantasize about you sometimes”
Really? Four years of breaking me down and now that I rebuilt myself you want to finally admit the the truth?. You bird f^^%&% ^#$&$& &%#$, ^&&)HD^$W%WE*%&# and your grandma’s couch too. Now EYE have to go to therapy and discuss why EYE can’t allow myself to be loved and he gets to play video games. Ain’t that some ish?
Did you know that I am a racist? I didn’t know it til this dude on Twitter said so. You may be thinking “Of course bourgie, siddity, uppity, Uncle Tomasina ass CherBear in her middle class white neighborhood is racist against black people.” No,apparently I hate white people. According to this ONE person on Twitter the fact that I reference race in my Tweets so frequently makes me racist. So I went back to my Tweets.
“See a hot white man? Buy a large dog house, call it a slave cabin, declare yourself insane and tell people it’s Bizarro 1856″
(That was part of a series of tweets discussing how Herman Cain’s sexual dealings with White women are really a sign of black equality in America. A mere 75 years ago a Herman Cain couldn’t look a Ginger White in the eye, but now he can legally look her in the vajayjay with the eye of his paynus. We’ve come a long way, baby,)
Bacon is in our blood. In fact I am advocating that we sue the White man for diabetes, obesity, ebonics, illiteracy, poverty, lack of property ownership and our propensity to give our children horrible names.
(This is valid and I stand by it. Slavery is the root of all the evil with the salt and the fat back and the molasses and the laws against reading. It’s also the reason why black people keep giving their children fugged up names; I called it “Being Toby’d”. No one wants their child to “be Toby’d” so they get creative and start adding punctuation and consonants til the shyt just gets ignant. CEO D’Yaszxkiahian-tayiashia (Erica) Jenkins ain’t gonna happen! Is it so wrong that I want to help my people and receive a 75% cut out of any settlement? I think not.)
The story of Thanksgiving by Cevo – One day some dirty, stank, smelly White folks came on a boat. They were rude bytches and raped the land. The Indigenous people tried to be nice, but the rude White folks didn’t know when to STFU so they had a dinner called “Thanksgiving”. The Indigenous People made the food using the stank wash and laundry water of the nasty white people. Unfortunately they were too gross to politely die from dysentery. And that’s how the first Native Americans attempted and failed to kill the White Folks on Thanksgiving.
(This was my Thanksgiving story. Does it make me anti-white or pro-Indigenous people? Neither, it just means that I like to tell stories. Ask CaraQ, Dude and Whuck, my Stories give them hives)
I see a pattern in my tweets, I don’t like historical white people, but I can’t see a problem with modern day white people anywhere in there. I can’t think of any white person I insult, besides Newt Gingrich and that’s because his head looks like an underbaked Buttermilk Biscuit. I love to talk about race and culture and religion, Sociology and Anthropology were going to be my Majors if I hadn’t been accepted into the College of Communications. I grew up this way; When I was 12 my Halloween costume was “Culturally Confused”, not even kidding, I wore: 1) An Indian Punjabi 2) Japanese Yukata (Robe) 3) Kente Cloth Belt 4)Native American Moccasins 5) Chinese Chopsticks in my hair 6) An Indian Bindi on my head 7) A Black Power necklace – Not a single adult blinked an eye or asked me WTF I was thinking because that was just CherBear being “expressive”.
The black man who called me racist (has BLACK in his name btw) said that people who reference race with the frequency that I reference race tend to have some racism in them.
I should note that he strictly likes white women (can’t connect black with black women) and I intentionally go into his DMs being extra black and asking him why he only likes white women, but that’s not cuz I’m racist, that’s cuz I’m a jerk.
Being called racist really hurts my double stuffed Oreo soul. Putting aside the breakdown of race as a cultural construct and the idea that without power one cannot be racist and that racism exists within systems while ignorance and bigotry reside within individuals; referencing my blackness does not make me racist, it makes me aware, it makes me proud and it mostly gives me some s**t to babble about on Twitter. It’s Twitter, I also said Santa Claus was a Bolivian, cocaine smuggling, pedophile who created elves as sexual play things after watching Willie Wonka while high on his own supply.