I don’t think you limited the questions to one per e-mail – hopefully you can cover this under one post. The workplace questions are of the utmost importance to me.
1. Why do white people assume that their black friends will protect them if they act crazy or start some s**t in public?
2. Why do white people assume that all black people are comfortable in the hood?
3. Why do white women say “sorry” all the time or make statements that sound like apologetic questions (if that makes sense)?
4. Why do white women accuse black women of having attitudes when we may simply be defending a point or standing up for ourselves (and this was going on way before the Real Housewives s**t)? When I am a debating something with a white person, do they envision me with my hand on my hip, rolling my neck, waving my finger in their face?
5. Why does my white female co-worker “compliment” black men by saying, “he’s really handsome – for a black man”? Does she really think that is ok to say? Does she really think that is ok to say – TO ME?
6. Why does my white male co-worker greet black men with “what’s up brother?” in the strangest voice ever that he only uses around black men?
Bonus question:
7. Why does my boss ask me if I like Eminem about once a week and say he “he can really rap – for a white guy” and laugh like its the funniest s**t ever?
These are all true – none of this s**t is made up. Maybe your insight will quell my frequent urges to punch some of the white folk I work with in the throat.
Thanks!
1. I will venture to guess white people (and black people) assume their “FRIENDS” would help them no matter what the situation. If I’m out and I get in some shat and my friends (no matter their shade) don’t help me, we will have some issues when it’s all over and done with. I’m cuttin somebody with a butter knife – believe it.
2. I want to know what the percentages are of black people that “ARE” comfortable in the hood vs “ARE NOT”. I asked all of the white people I work with about this and they looked at me like I was crazy. Their response “I’ve never given that any thought”.
3. Cause white women are crazy. Yeah I said it!
4. Because black women tend to get loud and overbearing when “defending a point” and that comes off as hostile to a person who is not used to it. I’m guessing – because I don’t argue with black women because they always have an attitude (you see what I did there).
5. I’m not sure I can answer this. That is an ignorant statement for anybody to make and if a person made it to me I would point out that by adding “for a black man” she is making it known that the starting bar for “handsome” is obviously different for blacks and whites in her eyes. If she is saying that to you, then yes, she obviously thinks it’s ok to say that – check her.
6. Because he is trying to be cool. I addressed this one last week.
7. Um, because Em really can rap – for a white guy. Have you heard most white rappers? Pure garbage. Your boss is not too far off base here. I’m not sure why he’s laughing like it’s funny though.
Please feel free to add your responses. Some of these questions I really don’t have a funny or witty answer to. Next week I’m going to do a “what the white guy thinks”. And I’m going to jot down my thoughts for the next 7 days. Unless one of you heffas email askwhitey@gmail.com and asks me something you need to know about white people.
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"I’m cuttin somebody with a butter knife – believe it."
Get out, sir.
Leaving – but not before I poot on you.
Question #5.
Fear. She thinks he's hot but she doesn't want her conversation partner to think that she would actually ::gasp:: date a black man. 'For a black guy' = 'I would not want you to think that I would date/hump a black man'. This is a complete lie, of course. If you aren't attracted to the black man then you would not state that he is hot. It's like she WANTS to be honest with saying he's hot but then she gets all SKEERED of her friend thinking she might have the fever so she pusses out with the 'for a black guy'.
White women say we're sorry all the time because we are taught from birth to NOT be aggressive or hostile. When we grab our figurative balls and push our way past you because you're standing in the middle of aisle with your grocery cart with your thumb up your ass we all of a sudden revert back and apologize for said assertiveness. We're still bred with the submissive gene so anytime we skittishly venture outside of that box we automatically feel bad. I'm double retarded because I'll catch myself apologizing for pushin you out of the way then snap out of it and get pissed off and take my apology back. 'I'm sorry…wait…NO I'M NOT'. People usually backup after I finish my bipolar mini monologue.
We accuse black women of being hostile and aggressive because of what I just ansered^^upthere^^. I cannot testify as to how black women are raised but I can venture a guess and throw out that they're not raised to be submissive. 'Why are you NOT apologizing for telling this jackass woman to move her grocery cart?'. It's beyong our comprehension.
Basically…we're pansies.
I always used to get mixed signals on the #5 thing. like on one hand they are saying "i don't find black guys cute, but you are". as if she wants to assure the group of people she's with that she's not closed minded or something. or…on the other hand, trying to get approval from the group before actually meeting one. as if they co sign, means she doesn't feel bad about dancing/flirting/hooking up with one.
Exxaaaactly. Dude is either hot or he's not. I am not afraid to say I would sit on LL Cool J's face. period. End of sentence. None of that 'for a black guy'. I…would..sit…on…LL Cool J's…face. and I'll say it and look at my husband's face like…SAY SOMETHIN….
Course he don't never listen to me anyhow BUTSTILL….
i understand. i just see beauty…none of that sexy for a ___ girl stuff. i get some people have their preferences and that's cool. but it does make it sound like nobody else could be attractive. like it's a shock or something.
Wow, this post is about as popular as AIDS. I'm going to get fired.
well, it was pretty popular here
[youtube 6szE_qmzavQ&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6szE_qmzavQ&feature=related youtube]
I love your ask the white guy posts! I feel like maybe my honkey ass can contribute somethin!
*runs in* I love you Zell!!!! *runs out*
White people assume any of their friends who are bigger or have reps for fighting prowess will come save them when shyte gets real, but the real kicker to the assumption is that the other party won't want to fight because their friend is black. Because we all know that even the puniest black dude can beat up a large white guy for the simple fact that he is black and has those special ghetto fighting skills from dodging gangs and drug dealers on a daily basis.
#5- I have three possibilities; 1) Bubba_Fett mentioned this, so for the most part I don't like as many Black men as White men (I have a thing for blue eyes…makes it kinda difficult.) I likely would not say the quote above, BUT she may be saying "I don't like dark chocolate, but if I did I'd want a bite of that piece." 2) She's pointing someone out for you to date assuming that you are Black and date Black men 3) She knows that Black women often have issues with other race (esp White) women dating Black men, so she MAY be saying someone is attractive, but feels that she should not tell you this.
Once again I don't think any of the wording of these statements is correct, just my White thoughts. And one more thing….come on Slaus I tots deserve a "Ask a White Chick" segment on OHN.