More ramblings from whitey. (sorry, I’ve been super busy and haven’t really had time to sit down and read my hate mail and pick some good questions). Please accept this as my apology.
Hello!
So last week I had the displeasure of traveling to Tupelo Mississippi (pronounced Toop-Low Miss-Sippy by the natives). Holy hell what a shat hole. I was working on a project for one of my bigger clients (I normally don’t travel). It was one of the dirtiest places in America I have ever been. And that is saying a lot considering my travels have taken me to almost every state in the US. One of the nights I was there our team decided to hit the local Chili’s for the 2 for 1 beers/cocktails. At the end of the bar was Slaus’ clone. I wish I had taken a picture because they seriously looked so much alike. Of course I don’t go many places that I don’t meet everybody so me and this fella started talking. I swear he talked just like a Bernie Mac routine. It was weird. So we exchanged favorite jokes by some of our favorite comedians and I chatted up his girl a little (friendly chat, nothing offensive). Then he whispers to me – “Hey, you ain’t no po-boy is you”? Well up until this point I thought I was on top of my slang. But honestly I had no fvcking clue what he was asking. And since I was in Toop-Low Miss-Sippy I figured I should proceed with caution. I answered with “I’m not real sure what that is, but I’m pretty sure I’m not”. Then he educated me, it means da po-leece. Alright, makes sense, “nope, not the poo-leece”. He then asks, y’all want some (inaudible)? :confused look on my face 8-\. He says, you want hard or soft? At this point I assume he’s talking about cocaine but honestly I have no clue. He could be trying to offer some jibby. So I’m like, I think we’re good man. He insists he can get me whatever I want and I insist that I really don’t need anything other than the Landshark that I’m drinking.
Tupelo Chamber of Commerce.
Later I met a guy that went by the name of “stinky”. I didn’t inquire as to how he obtained that nickname but I had a pretty good idea. He apparently owned the Starter, alternator repair, and bail bonding business. I was surprised there was such a market. Me and stinky and his girl closed down chili’s and I learned a few things. 1. Black people and women “know their place in Miss-Sippy”. And 2. Stinky is a fvcking hillbilly retard.
Tupelo, Mississippi Order of Feminists had a long way to go
Fast forward – Friday night I am on my way out of town and it is busy as hell. I stop and grab some food and I ask the girl, “is it always this busy on the weekend”? She replied, “nawl… is tass day”. “Pardon me”? – Tass day. Again, I’m confused 8-\. Tass day? You know, when errbody get they tasses back….. Ohhh – Tax day.. I see. Then I thought damn, I don’t get my taxes back until well into March. I have to wait on dividends, mortgage and investment statements, etc and then the accountant takes for fvcking ever… I might be doing this ish wrong. So I grabbed up my dinner and headed back to Alabama. The point of the story – well there really isn’t a point – these are just some of the things I found interesting in Toop-low Miss-Sippy and Alabama > Miss-Sippy (and that’s sad).
I’m working on another “ask the white guy” for next week. It should be a good one.
What’s the dirtiest/most messed up city you have ever visited – and Florida is NOT a city.
-Zell.
I'm from Jackson, Miss-Sippy and I am deeply offended! Just kidding. If you thought Tupelo was a shyt-hole, you should avoid Jackson. It's common for multi-tasking individuals to have "starter/alternator repair/bail bonding" businesses. They are normally in the same vicinity as the "check cashing/liquor store/ tax service" businesses.
I'm starting a quick-weave/day care/window tinting business on Ellis Ave. as we speak! LOL
You know about Ellis Ave?!?! You would get competition from the pawn shop/law office/tattoo shop on Highway 80!
Fort Pierce, FL, where my Grandmother lives.
Nothing but package and liquors stores, and hot boiled peanut, pig's feet, and citrus fruit stands on every corner
It's miles of bare state roads, citrus groves and dirty kids running around with sticks.
Everyone asks you "Who are your people?" and everyone is someone's cousin.
The Footwash Festival in Alabama = Deliverance + Freaknik rolled into one.
Passed through Tupelo going to Memphis. Yep, it's a bonafide Shiyaat hole!!!
Flint, Michigan…. period. The rats got roaches in flint.
I am terrified of Flint!!!
Met a cool sister in Flint. She made that town look great…
I almost got shot at the Ihop in Detroit, so I kno I aint going to Flint….
:: rolllling ::::
If someone ever tells you they come from the GOOD part of flint,,, they are lying. there aren't any GOOD parts. There are only sections of town less fugged up than the most fugged up parts
You know Highland Park is WORST than Flint. They have NO lights!
I said it before: I won't go to PONTIAC, Highland Park or Flint. Funny how Ole Slaussy forgot to add PONTIAC to this list.
Detroit is like a kiddie pool compared to these areas! Well, most of Detroit.
^^Sheltered… and bougie AND SADITY
^^what she said *gropage*
I can't say I'm sheltered, but I can say I'm bougie and somewhat saddity. Can I join the club?
::has the door man open up the gold plated double doors::
Come on in!
I'm with you on this one. It's more of a "I've seen those places on television" situation in my case.
lol not sheltered either, but I got some bougie and saddity. Can I join. I'll bring some fancy azz tea and coffee! Yeah my future hubby is from Detroit and he tell's me its real there. I was like please don't let me get shot when we go visit. lol The most gangster (yeah er lol) I got was getting stuck by cactus. LOL!
I'm mad I can't even contribute to this conversation. I'm questioning my existence. I've been too sheltered. I can't recall any shyt-hole cities I have been to. I was GONNA say Southside OKC because they refuse to fix the cracks in their parking lots but figured that would sound silly. Then I was gonna say Dallas because the big stars on the highway are too gaudy. I've come to the conclusion that that's prolly not what these posts are about and I need to broaden my horizons and find some dirty ass places to go. HEY… We got stuck 4 wheelin one time and we had to walk over to 'the nasty store' to use the phone and there was private booths and sticky stuff on the floor. That's dirty. That should count.
Detroit and Camden. I've been to towns in Mississippi and Louisiana where there were little dirty houses on stilts over the water, and they still weren't as bad as those two. Any major city that you can tell when you're getting close 'cause you can smell it… is a dirty city. Then again, I've been to a few small towns here in NC where it's so dirty that the flies are afraid to land.
I work for the government and was deployed to Gulfport/Biloxi, MS for 90 days. Shyttest place I have ever been. Once you get a block from the casinos, you only have rachet men and women, sparse houses, the Elks lodge (the grown and sexy hot spot) and the Boiler room (the young people club that is a death trap with one door that is the entrance and exit. The VIP section is literaly one step up from the rest of the club and every one is dressed like there are going to a BBQ). My bougie azz could not wait to get back to the DMV…
"the Elks lodge (the grown and sexy hot spot)"
…and THAT was my LOL for the day!!!
You must've just been scared of getting lynched or something, if you know where to go, biloxi is pretty straight…but I have country ways lol
Sauk Village,Illinois(maybe 15 minutes from where I grew up but different as night and day) is by far one of the ''worse'' places I'd ever seen until My Bougie Azz moved down here To Missouri.
East St. Louis and the towns on the Illinois side of STL Metro area with the north side of STL a close second. It makes bombed out Beirut look like Beverly Hills.
OOoooo might have to agree with this one, Lefty.. ouch lol i forgot about the level of ugh bytch ugh in these towns
I've been to St Louis. The folks that I was visiting, refused to go anywhere near East St. Louis.
How bad is E. St. Louis?
I was born in Detroit. I lived in Highland Park.
My mother's people are all from East Boogie.
As fugged up as The Motor can be, it cain't hold a burnt-out road flare to East Boogie.
The East Side ain't nothin' but gravel, railroad tracks, shotgun shacks, churches (with Church's Chicken conveniently located right tha hale next door), liquor stores, pawn shops, fried rice shops, swap meets/flea markets/white elephants, check cashing, skrip clubs (you are waaaay overdue for a "moment of clarity" when you find yourself in an East Boogie skrip club, tryna decide if that's a tat or a scar), and casino boats.
The chief of police just got busted for selling boosted XBoxes.
The only reason I can come and go is because my family has enough black folk to make a gat dam Tarzan movie, and errbody knows Campbells and Colemans up in East Boogie.
I never, ever ride through at night unless I am armed to the teeth, and I didn't feel that unsafe growing up near 6 Mile and Gratiot (a/k/a "the shooting gallery") on the east side in Detroit.
And why tha hale errbody gotsta soun' like Nelly' cousin 'n'nem?
Yep. You are from the D. You painted a CLEAR picture of the east side. I can see a church on 7 and Conant with a Church's chicken next door, clear as day in my mind. And soooo many liquor stores.
Since I'm NOT armed to the teeth, there are plenty of places I just DON'T go. Ever.
Camden and Atlantic City.
Oh, AC is nice…once you're on the strip with all the hotels. SOON as you step off, it's shady as AWL the fuggs in the world. And as for Camden…well. It's Camden. I was a lil scared to go to the damn aquarium at 11am.
Edit: Oh, and I forgot about Newark. But like…South Orange Ave and Weequahic Park Newark. Not Ironbound Neawrk. Oh, and how in AWLL the fuggs could I forget Trenton.
I debated adding AC to Camden and Detroit… but most folks don't go past the casinos, so they don't know. But yeah… the first time I took a wrong turn and ended up a few blocks from the casino it was alike a scene from Night of the Living Dead w/negroes lined up staring at my car. After that I would just drive through to remind myself what a difference two blocks can make in the quality of life.
I would be one of those ppl. When I went to AC I stayed where all the prettyness and shopping is. lol
I know people who went to school in Tupelo, MS….ON PURPOSE! Came back with relaxer burns and a baby!
Schnectady, NY
Markham, IL
Detroit, MI
Inkster, MI
Highland Park, MI
Hamtramck, MI
Sagninaw, MI
….. East Cleveland. CLeveland period.
ALl of new jersey smells like a queef
queefs smell?
No i just like saying bad shyt about New jersey,
Rio de Janeiro. Nothing like the smell of a mountainside-full of shyt to give you an instant impression of a city as you head in its direction from the airport……
::Scratches Rio off Bucket List::
Dammit, that was me, not the wife! Great city, but it stinks in places, like I've never smelled before…..
That's how I feel about San Francisco. I think the city motto should be: "San Francisco, where it's steep and stinky."
Lets see :
Jacksonville, Fl (almost got shot)
Quitman, Ga (lynching capital of the south)
Sumter, SC (1992 they had no idea what a car phone was)
Gary, IN (self explanatory)
Oh, new criteria.
Hunt's Point, Bronx, and several spots in Brooklyn – guns and gangs.
Summerville, SC – Klan was just chillin', and a Family size bottle of Robitussin was the get-high of choice.
Yeah i forgot about Hunt's point and it pains me to add my home town of Chicago (West Side)to the list. Them (N-word) been effin up since I can remember
Born and bred in Chicago and I can count on one hand how many times I was brave enough to venture to the west side.One time me and a couple of friends went over there to do some ''plant shopping'' ..O_O….We must have smelled like southsiders because we caught alllll types of hayle from the chicks over there.
I forgot about the West Side of Chi. I used to have to recruit there for my college. I had to hire a former gang member with a big rep to escort me around. I remember how tough and fearless (ie. nuts) he was, until we got to this one building and he said, "Nah… I ain't goin' in there." When I asked him why, he said, "'Cause we won't come out alive" I lost out on a good kid that day.
I was going to mention the west side, but that's just too damn obvious. The thought of that area just makes my brain itch.
Summerville Greenwave Class of '90… couldn't get out of there fast enough!
Hunt's Point, Bronx claim to fame… Hookers
Nastiest place I've been to is by far Osan, South Korea. The stench hit me as soon as I stepped off the plane.
My Hunts Point experience was early 80's. After the first visit almost cost me my life, my 108 lb. girlfriend had to walk me to the subway at night on all visits after that.
Ok – I'm not sure what part of Sumter you went to, but we knew what a car phone was in 1992. You CANNOT compare Sumter to GARY INDIANA! Come on now, pardna. I know people who live on Manning Ave in Sumter, walk down that street every day, won't go to Gary.
hmmm, I feel as if I have nothing to contribute…but then I remember Apache Junction, AZ; Mesa, AZ and South Phoenix, AZ. By far not as bad as Gary, East STL, Detroit etc (from what I have heard) but bad enough compared to most spots in AZ. Most of the reservations here in AZ aren't kosher either. Lots of drugs and alcohol issues. Most goes unnoticed due to the tribes keeping to themselves. Only reason I know is because there are a lot native american children that come into foster care. And a drive through a reservation is not a pretty one.
Back in 94, I was taking a road trip from Grambling, LA to Houston. I thought I would hit the back roads and save some time and gas, even though gas was 1.03. (Those were the days). I was on a two lane highway and hit the Texas line. I also hit every locust Gawd ever made. By the time I had to pull over for gas, I was in Bobo, Texas Pop. 126. My Grand-Am was beat to hell, I had to shovel the bug carcasses off the grill so the engine could breathe. My scarey azz tried to jump back in the car while the gas was pumping because them locusts were giving me the side eye. Well, out of all the gas stations I could have stopped at, I found the one with the slowest pump in the world. Took me, no lie, 15 minutes to fill the tank.
I'm from the south and was raised on the road so I've been in about every piece of crap town where neegras know they place between florida and texas…mcdonalds that sell grits for breakfast, college homecoming parades where the people throw toilet paper into the crowd and places where cow fields are so close to the high school that they come around to watch the football games. But the worst place I've been was in oak cliff dallas (for those of you who know about it you won't be surprised). I was with my cousins and they took me to their friend's house to play playstation. We all sitting in the guy's room and he's pausing the game to sell weed to guys coming up to the door…mind you he was living in his momma's house and she was coming to get him to make his sales (family affair I guess). While all that was going on he just so happened to start pulling out AK 47s and stuff from under his bed and passing them around the room like the joints they were smoking. Yeah, I just knew I was gunna get arrested that night and all I was doing was going to hang out with family…needles to say, I dont hang with them too much anymore
Goulds, Florida
~throws down mic~
*Quinn*
Remember the good ole' days, when all you had to worry about was the Klan or Deliverance type of foolishness? SMH.
The entire state of West Virginia. Never seen so many dead deer by the side of a road in my life! The very EARTH gave us the creeps.
Anything in Alabama. Honestly that place used to make me itch.