On “Toddlers & Tiaras,” everyone has a flair for the dramatic, including the pageant boys.
Meet 6-year-old pageant prince Traven, who’s been competing since he was a baby. He now introduces himself by saying, “I’m Traven and the ladies love me,” before doing something odd with his fingers and his tongue, while someone in the background (possibly his mom) hollers, “You are too sexy!” Seriously — he’s 6.
We’ve got an exclusive sneak peek at this week’s episode (Wed., May 23, 10 p.m. ET on TLC), showing Traven’s less-than-princely persona when he’s not on stage. As his mom LaNesia shows off his trophies, sashes and crowns, Traven flips the switch from charming to borderline possessed.
“I’m a grown up. Nobody tells me what to do,” Traven says to the cameras, before repeating it for emphasis: “Nobody tells me what to do!”
“Traven goes from a angel to a demon in 0.2 seconds,” LaNesia says, as he’s seen screaming at her and punching her. And the devil part seems fitting — Traven later mock chokes himself and pretends to convulse for the cameras while saying, “Get outta me, you crazy little devil.” Dramatic, indeed … [source]
WHY is it that every damn mother we see on these shows looks like a severe cry for help!
They are always big fat scraggly heffas with lots of make-up on and perfect hair and sitting around smiling like the fact the make-up and perfect perm will make us forget a heffa is 300lbs of pure trailer-park fuggary.
Sitting there trying to live vicariously through their attractive children.
LOOK at this heffa!!! with.. with her gold front teeth!!!!!!!!!!!???????????
And as far as this little boy? Bytch don’t say nothing when years from now, this lil mufugga has 30 kids by 33 different chicks. yeah i know it isn’t mathematically possible but math and logic has never stopped n***adry in the past so why now.
Man… would she think a lot of that shyt would be cute if he was a little girl???
Ugh.
I wanna beat her and that child down to their very DNA helix.
perfect perm?
what are you looking at
that fat gold tooth harlot has a bad weave…and I mean bad as in horrible
with a part as big as the grand canyon!
I am not a fan of pageants cute baby contests and the like…I think it sends the wrong message to young children
now this little boy needs the hell beat out of him
And that lil boy is not cute….
I saw that episode. She looked like she parted her hair with a 45!
*cries*
Traven in 20 years.
<img src="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b159/action9026/82447908.gif">
The pirouette has murked my soul ..please send a nice spray of tiger lilies and baby's breath to my memorial service.
I think I laughed for like 10 minutes until I had tears in my eyes!
where the hell do you find this s**t
I want to beat that mom hard enough that the son feels it!
That tongue s**t he was doing was NOT cute! At all!
She laughing at him acting crazy… that's what's wrong with our kids these days. They have no parents!
That tongue mess was so disgusting!! Yes, he will have 30 children by 33 women – but probably not before one of his momma's simple-arsed "bff's" feels moved to turn him out when he's about 12 years old…
"Man… would she think a lot of that shyt would be cute if he was a little girl???"
This is the woman who said she entered her son into pageants when he was a baby because he "lookeded (lookted?) like a little girl." I highly doubt things would be different if he actually was one.
Look-ted. And since he been doin pagents he a lost a one.
Lordy.
I was hoping someone else heard that. The record scratched when I heard "looked-ted".
i really HATE hearing people say looked-ted.
1.Babies and children are not sexy and never should be considered sexy. That's gross.
2. This looks like the prequel to "Baby Boy".
3. Heffa you live in a trailer! In Pulaski! The birth place of the KKK! There is nothing wrong with that, but all that money she's been putting out to enter him into these pageants should have been used a down payment for a house or a condo.
4. Who is she fooling with that silky straight hair?
5. Get-cho life together.
"4. Who is she fooling with that silky straight hair?"
Obviously Slaus… he said it was perfect.
*holds out Slaus Needs Glasses collection bucket*
Damn the basket, I got some extra space on my FSA card, his vision situation needs to be rectified RAHT NOW.
"3. Heffa you live in a trailer! In Pulaski! The birth place of the KKK! There is nothing wrong with that, but all that money she's been putting out to enter him into these pageants should have been used a down payment for a house or a condo. "
^THIS! I recall one mother, who was old money filthy stinking rich, saying that the pageant lifestyle is NOT cheap. She could more than afford it, but most of the other parents could barely pull rent together. I don't understand it. *sigh* Some folks and their priorities.
That child needs some space, a yard, bicycle, stick and a rock, sidewalk, or something. She keeps him locked up doing body rolls and back talking. I feel so sorry for him.
The mom's on this show are ridiculous. As for the kids, sometimes I can't tell the real brats from the
ones still wired up on red bull and pixie sticks.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4btf9KGKc1ro0h4s.gif">
And they just had to be Black…*heavy sigh*
<img src="http://www.transparencyrevolution.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/sisko-facepalm.jpg">
yes kingsley….unfortunately
I think they got tired of all the little bad-azz white kids and wanted to show that, "Hey! They do it, too!"
Purple and lime green cabinets??? And I DO NOT know who coined the term "invisible part" but them summabytches are big enough to drive a double tractor trailer through… *kicks over this bish trailer with her and that bad ass kid inside*
I was tripping off the fact that they still make plastic curtains.
This is what Satan is doing right now.
[youtube tfslY_AvhLw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfslY_AvhLw youtube]
That child yelled at her, and she did… nothing?
O_O
Child Protection should have been on the menu for the child's welfare immediately afterward. No so much to save the child from a whoopin', but to take the kid away from her because as he said, he is the man of the house, and he still needs someone older than him to actually be in charge… and she ain't the one. She needs to check his attitude right now, because if he pulls some mess like that on some adult woman at age 12, in school or on the street, he will either get tasered or bodybagged by the cops.
When bad behavior becomes "cute", self-sabotaging behavior is reinforced.
Oh… and she looks like a gold-toothed walrus (just had to get that off my chest).
"That child yelled at her, and she did… nothing?
O_O "
That is a common occurrence on Toddlers and Tiaras. If you thought the current batch of pre-teens and teens needed a brick to the face? Wait till these hit puberty.
I thought about entering my daughter in some of these contests since she's cute, they give money, and my god-daughter made a lot of money for college on the circuit a decade ago. To test her interest, I let her watch an episode. When the girl she liked most didn't win, she cried for more than 15 minutes… hysterically. I just counted that as her 15 minutes of fame and had her read a book to me. There… is… no… way… I would deal with that for the next 10 years.
*Nods in approval of your forethought and planning*
"If you thought the current batch of pre-teens and teens needed a brick to the face? Wait till these hit puberty."
Oh, look. Nightmare fuel.
Hey Slaus! You should make that "You make bad decisions" picture into a sticker or something. I need that in my life.
I second that.
I just wanna let you know he stole that expression from me… (see my avi) I"M JUSSAYIN
I was just scrolling down so I could type the same thing. Slaus, you'd make some money, son.
I'd buy a roll of 100 or so, and be stickin' them EVERYWHERE!
"Meet 6-year-old pageant prince Traven, who’s been competing since he was a baby. He now introduces himself by saying, “I’m Traven and the ladies love me,” before doing something odd with his fingers and his tongue, while someone in the background (possibly his mom) hollers, “You are too sexy!” Seriously — he’s 6."
*closes laptop*
That Messed Up Mommy pic that Mehtare posted on Facebook this week would fit SO WELL here!
This one?
<img src="http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i200/mehtare13/301771_3334819852115_1317143914_50831208_366766932_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
Oh yes indeed.
I saw a road sign that said Pulaski which I can only assume is Pulaski, TN. And from the various shots of trailers and s**t I saw, I believe my observations are correct. That being the case, at shyt productive coming out of Pulaski, TN not nah damn thing. So this fall right in ling with what I would expect out of Pulaski, TN including that gold tooth mush-mouth azz heffa.
When she evens up be a grandma in about 8 years to twins, he will be well on he's way to catching up to and over taking that fool in Knox County with the 33 damn kids.
LOOKDED, bytch? LOSTED? NO ma'am. NO.
See, instead of lookdin for pageants to enter little Damien into, Jabba the Hoodrat shoulda lookded for a ghatdamn English teacher, a dentist, a friend, & a belt to beat that little bad mufugga all about his head & shoulder area because everything happening in that video is the definition of failure. At EVERYTHING.
<img src="http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a155/fushavue/macros/2hprjhw.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
Try-Fail-IN.
So, um…I see people talking about her Indian Remy hair, but why is no one asking why that little boy's head looks like he just escaped from the plantation? In his interview shots, he doesn't have enough hair to comb, but in all the other footage, it doesn't look like it's possible to comb through it.
So T and I actually watch TLC a lot, and somehow we started watching while Toddlers and Tiaras was on. It was my first time seeing it and I was HORRIFIED. Thankfully we caught it at the end cuz I could not have taken a whole episode.
I was saying THE WHOLE TIME that if Traven was my child he would've been slapped into next week, and I don't even agree with corporal punishment like that but that boy made me feel violent.
T said the mother looked like the sides of her part were running away from each other. Then she said it looked like they were segregated. Her jokes were the main reason we kept watching cuz I was LMAO.
"So T and I actually watch TLC a lot…"
Love ya but you are part of the problem!
It's the LEARNING channel! And I love to learn. So there. But actually she's the one that always turns to it. My first choices are Cooking Channel, ESPN, YES, or Fox Soccer.
"Bytch don’t say nothing when years from now, this lil muf***a has 30 kids by 33 different chicks. yeah i know it isn’t mathematically possible but math and logic has never stopped n***adry in the past so why now."
CO-EFFING-SIGN!
Rex, Lurkasaurus, LLC, presents:
News From The Future!
Oct. 25, 2052, Pulaski, TN – The FBI, in cooperation with Pulaski authorities, have announced that they have captured 46-year-old Traven Clinkscale, the man believed to be behind a series of brutal murders known locally as "The Pageant Murders."
"Well, it weren't us that called 'em that," Sheriff Elry "Plainview" Faulkner told our Future News correspondent, "But the press pick-ted up on the fact that he like-ted to use his old pageantry awards as murder weapons."
Authorities say that the murders began when his mother, LaNesia, kicked him out of their shared trailer after he lost his job at Krispy Kreme. "He three-hunned-gat-(beep) pounds!" she told our correspondent, "Cain't nobody just eat that many dam donuts without a employee discount! I had to put him out! Ol fat (beep) ain't won a pagent in thirty years some (beep)!"
The similarities between the victims, in that they were all large, African-American women with bad hair weaves and gold teeth helped the authorities narrow their search. BAU agent Spencer Reid suggests that Clinkscale was symbolically killing his mother each time. Seventeen bodies have been recovered from under the Clinkscales' shared trailer, prompting his mother to say, "That's what smell-ded so bad? I just thought the septic tank had leak-ded into the crick again!"
I am weak now.
That "adorable" little boy needs to be put in a burlap sack and beaten, severely, and his mom….well, it's too damn late for her but we need to pass a constitutional amendment to have all the women on Toddlers & Tiaras have their tubes tied. So the next generation can be saved and they can find the greatest love of all inside of themselves and not in pageants.
Damn TLC network is going result in the end of our civilization!
I remember when TLC was actually The Learning Channel. You know…worth a shyt? I can't understand how it went so wrong. ;_;
VH1 is how. VH1 started all this damn mess in the mid-2000's and all other channels have followed it into hell…
how is she both fat and scraggily i mean isnt scraggily the opposite of fat…(goes to urban dictionary )
<img src='http://cdn.crushable.com/files/2012/03/haley-hit.gif'>
<my 1st time posting anywhere so if I break any rules of etiquette or inadvertently offend anyone (besides Traven or Mamma The Hutt) , it's from ignorance, not malice. I welcome corrective feedback but this is my first time so be gentle with me>
@lurkasairus_rex: Brilliant! Lmao! But instead of "Clinkscale" I would have gone with "Bustdescale"
Actually the kid's last name is either "Ayres" or "Mack". The thing that gave "birf" to him is named "Lanesia Mack" (sometimes spelled "La'Nesia" which is apparently French for "ipecac") so I assume his (gawd I hate this term) "baby daddy's" last name is/was Ayres. Imagine my shock and surprise that he's no longer in the picture. (Whenever I see one of these typical morbidly obese, ugly, unkempt pageant moms, I count the kids and then try to reconcile the fact that it really means someone actually had sex with these hose beasts at least that many times. It makes my stomach turn and my brain hurt.)
Anyway, speaking of pictures, you can check out their Facebook page at  ;http://facebook.com/lanesiamack2 Check out the Picts of momma… Yikes! If these were conventional photographs the pictures themselves would weigh over 50lbs each.
For those commenting on the trailer they live in, apparently they had a fire last year which destroyed their old home. I'm sure they had a very nice place before it burned down. (/scarcasm). Ironically a fire would actually increase the value and decor of their current hovel. Here's a page about the the fire: http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=…
Another thing I found is a webpage asking for money to send the future felon to NYC. How can this be legal? It certainly isn't *right* – if you can't afford it, don't F'ing DO it! I can't afford a Lexus so I don't have one – and I don't set up a web page to beg people to buy me one. Wtf?!
http://allevents.in/Cape%20Girardeau/Help-Send-Me…
Sorry for the long post — just enjoyed all the comments so much I wanted to share the pages I found where you can take a closer peek into the lives of the people building our future. Hope you're as frightened as I am.
Hope to become a regular here (at least as a lurker) — I really enjoy the wit and irreverence of the commenters. Thanks!
"Another thing I found is a webpage asking for money to send the future felon to NYC. How can this be legal? It certainly isn't *right* – if you can't afford it, don't F'ing DO it! I can't afford a Lexus so I don't have one – and I don't set up a web page to beg people to buy me one. Wtf?! http://allevents.in/Cape%20Girardeau/Help-Send-Me…. "
If Zimmerman could raise his bail money like that then, sad to say, *sigh* this also goes. Pain's me to even type this. >_<
I see someone has already punched her teeth out…there might be hope for the lil' focker after all…
I had the pleasure of watching that episode…that little ejaculate err needs his butt whoopped. But his momma needs a beat down of a lifetime. To hell with the negro community not pleased with her shananagans…mothers all over the globe are face palming and wishing for this chicks demise…
<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y136/ThatGirlNamedNikki/GrinchHate.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
"I wanna beat her and that child down to their very DNA helix." < THAT.