From guest writer: Zuly
This post is not going to be about what you think it’s going to be about. I figured I’d tell you that upfront so I don’t have anyone cussing me out in the comments.
A couple of weeks ago this article ran on News One:
Speaking at a campaign office opening for Mitt Romney in Orange Park, Florida, Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll spoke out about the sex scandal she’s found herself involved in since Carletha Cole claimed that she witnessed Carroll and a top aide, Beatriz Ramos, in a “compromising position” inside Carroll’s office.
“The problem is that when you have these accusations that come out, it’s not just one person you’re attacking,” Carroll said. “It’s an entire family. My husband doesn’t want to hear that. He knows the type of woman I am. I mean, my kids know the type of woman I am. For twenty-nine years – I’m the one that’s married for twenty-nine years. The accuser is the one that’s been single for a long time. So usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.”
Cole was allegedly given a polygraph test. When she was asked did she answer truthfully about “observing a sexually compromising position in the Capital”, a retired FDLE agent said “she passed,” according to 10News.
The article goes on to talk about the criminal case currently going on against Jennifer Carroll, but that’s not really important to the content of this post, so if you want to learn more about it feel free to click on the source link. What’s important to the content of this post is this particular sentence: “So usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.”
Now, I’m confused about what she’s trying to say. Black women who look like her can’t be lesbians (or bisexual, as the case may be)? Or that the reason women are lesbians is that they look a certain way?
Here is a picture of Carroll, by the way:
She’s pretty. Right?
So here’s the thing…there’s been a lot of talk about the LGBT community lately. Whether it’s about Chic-Fil-A or what it means to be bisexual or what certain groups of people do or don’t look like, and I’m sitting here wondering. What the f*ck? Seriously. Why do people have no problem discussing this one group as if they’re a bunch of lab rats but don’t ever consider what it says about THEM or the wider implications of what they’re saying? I really want to know. If you support (for example) limiting the rights of a group of people just because you have an opposing opinion, why would it then not be okay for another person to turn around on YOU and say “hey, this is my opinion, so I’m gonna try my damned hardest to limit your rights”? You know what I think? I think it’s because (some) people don’t see the LGBT community as legitimate whole beings.
Either you’re wrong because you love the same sex or you’re wrong because you don’t choose a “side” or you’re wrong because you look a certain way and therefore must be xyz.
Now back to the original comment: what does she mean black women who look like her? Does she mean black women who look like this:
Can’t be lesbians?
…That’s my girlfriend by the way. Isn’t she f*cking gorgeous? Yes. I’m bragging. Deal with it. Point is, she’s a lesbian. So now I’m confused. What do Black lesbians look like? WHY can’t Black women who look like Carroll be lesbians? Can we make similar assumptions about other groups? Does that mean that men who look like Prince can’t be straight? (Actually I think that one might be a valid assumption…)
Black women who have relaxed hair can’t be progressive.
White women who look like Monica Lewinsky can’t be good secretaries.
Men who have long hair can’t be straight. Men who have arm tattoos can’t be gay.
Do y’all see how completely ABSURD this is?!?! So why, WHY I ask: Why is it okay for people to make these wild, idiotic statements about the LGBT community–that they wouldn’t otherwise make about other groups–without blinking an eye? People are obessed with labels. And for now, it’s popular to make assumptions (of all kinds) about this particular group.
Wherever you stand on any LGBT issue, the next time you make a statement I want you to ask yourself a question: What are the bigger implications of what I’m saying?
When you say someone is straight/gay/etc because of the way they look, how can that then be turned around on you?
When you say that someone is straight/gay/etc because of what they enjoy sexually (and not even WHO) what is that saying about you? What is that saying about how you view relationships?
When you say someone is straight/gay/etc because of something they do or wear or eat or whatever, how well would that statement stand up to some good, logical questions?
The point is, you can have opinions of any kind. You can make assumptions of any kind. You are 100% entitled to that. However, you can expect those opinions and assumptions to be questioned by intelligent people, and in many cases, just a few good questions will topple the validity of your statements like a house of cards in the wind.
Now on to the important part of this post: let’s post some pictures of hot women and then try to pick out which are the lesbians/bisexuals and which are the straight ones. Who’s your favorite lesbian?
…Also, you can post your thoughts about what Carroll said. I guess. If you feel like it.