Last week in the Men’s RoundTable we took on the issue of prideful hubris and fiscal responsibility. Our panel drew on their past experiences and wisdom to offer measured responses that placed logic over emotion..
The side piece. The friend with benefits. The f**k buddy. All the fancy (and classy) names the kids throw around these days for a story that is certainly not new — but seriously fellas, What’s the Deal?
********
Dear Men’s Roundtable,
I need your help on this situation which doesn’t seem to be getting ANY damn better and I can’t seem to win for losing.
Every guy I meet and ‘hook-up’ with seems to always leave me without warning, provocation or any type of communication! Every damn one! These guys approach ME with their smiles and attentive nature to get closer, ask me out, smang, or whatever. Then like clockwork they all dip out without saying a thing!
What gives!?
I am NOT ugly and I am NOT stuck-up. Yes I’m a little heavy at a size 18, but dammit I am WELL put together and I hold it well!
I cook, I clean, I suck, f**k, spit, swallow, pay my mortgage, make very good money and I let a man have his space. All the things you men say you want in a woman but then leave a girl in the rain and wanting to break the windows out of your car and your momma’s house!
I don’t play games because I am a grown woman who knows what she wants and I don’t see a need for those silly Steve Harvey chapters about waiting XYZ amount of days to have sex.
I am everything guys say they want but still I simply can not hold on to a guy for longer than a few months!
To make matters worse, when they do contact me again it seems they always have a girlfriend, a fiancé, a WIFE and they want me to be their side chick.
I want to be the main meal — Not the side dish.
Signed,
What am I doing wrong?
********
We presented this letter to the OHN men’s roundtable and opened the floor to discussion. Men from all across the country offered advice and opinions — and let me tell you, things got pretty real this time around. Here are some of the highlights:
She kinda sounds like a dude with a vagina. And if that’s the way she’s acting , then he the reason he won’t wife is you ‘cuz he doesn’t have to. You’re giving it up AND giving him his own space AND feeding him? Heck, I’d keep you around as much as possible — until I found someone I wanna be with.
All the benefits, none of the hassle? *shrug*
She’s a yes woman. Giving dudes whatever she thinks they want at the time in the hope that they will stay. And men ain’t s**t. We get what we want and if there’s nothing left to offer or you don’t lay down some rules, we will dip! It ain’t right at all. But she should already know this as a woman, and she needs to change what she is willing to give out. Stop sucking, swallowing, and all that and establish some rules for yourself.
We aint s**t sometimes and lie to get the goods. And once we get em…we are out. If she is messing with dudes from the same small town they may know her rep which doesn’t help her. And if she is doing main girl s**t from day one it can work against her. Ladies can think like a man all they want but once they start acting like us they’ll see the other side of the game. All the spit and swallow talk makes it seem like that is all she has to offer. And the whole break windows thing….that crazy crap will make any dude run fast.
I told my mom I wanted to marry my girlfriend and she interrogated the fugg out of me. She asked, “What does she do for you?” I said, “Everything! She cooks, cleans, irons my clothes, even wrote papers for me in college.” Then she asked “What do you do for her?” – I answered, “I know how to satisfy her”. I have never seen moms laugh so hard. She told me, “A real woman doesn’t break out all the tricks for everybody — and then ended with “How you think I got yo daddy!?”
Good sex doesn’t equal good character (I think that’s true of both men and women) — so if sexy time is always on the menu then it becomes easier for guys to compartmentalize and justify. I’ll go watch a rom-com if I know it’s gonna be worth it at the end of the evening. But I suspect she’s making the mistake of thinking that I actually like rom-coms the same as she does just because I’m willing to sit through them on dates. The truth is that guys want a real connection just as much as women do. The difference is that until we find that perfect steak dinner, we WILL eat at Longhorn if it’s open.
I don’t get when women give that line “I’m everything a man wants — I cook, I clean, etc.” First, not every guy has the same wants/needs. But secondly, are you just doing all this stuff because it’s your personality or because you think it’s what you need to do to get a man? Ain’t nothing worse than a chick that is just doing stuff to just to make a guy happy when you know it ain’t her thing, then you have to hear how she “is always x, y and z for you.” That’s just like a guy giving a chick lip service by only telling her what she wants to hear.
Personally I think she is giving out too much too fast. She is throwing all her cards out on the table at once and then wondering why she never has a winning hand. In other words, stop giving ninjas what they want. Do you, boo-boo. Sounds like you’re worth it, but haven’t figured it out yet.
*adjusts Bachelor Degree of Psychology on Wall*
“…and wanting to break the windows out of your car and your momma’s house!?”
Ummm…bitch, you CRAZY!
Next question.
I don’t know of a dude who hasn’t said to himself or his boys, “She’s mad cool…but I dunno about wife material.” And whatever your moral/spiritual/cultural/political orientation, you know the difference. It’s almost built in, but very strong, like knowing the difference between ’95 Black Eyed Peas and ’05 Black Eyed Peas.
I used to run with some dog-ass dudes. We were young dumb, confident and no fuggs given. Now we are all uber domesticated viciously loyal to loving wives. And the key factor is that we all married the women who did not serve up everything on a plate. They played the game, established their sense of worth and value — and now all those women have whipped-ass devoted men at their sides.
Understand something, regardless of what Steve Harvey says, “Wait 90s days” holds no merit for most men — cause in those 90 days, im GOING to f**k other b*****s. But at least be realistic about how much you’re offering up to a man who is only giving you one or two things back in return.
Cook him toast, then graduate to bacon.
She’s suffering from the women’s version of being friend-zoned. She’s being pussy-zoned.
If a man sparks an emotional attraction in a woman but fails to spark a physical/sexual attraction, he gets friend-zoned. But if a woman sparks a physical attraction but fails to create an emotional attraction — she’s just pussy. She needs to figure out why she’s failing to make an emotional connection.
But that’s just our opinion. What do you think?
Got a situation? Need a man’s opinion?
Email us at ohellnawl@gmail.com
Subject: Roundtable.
@HexaCorde
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First off,Stop being what YOU THINK a man needs/wants and be who/what YOU want to be.IMO,when you stop trying to be someones' everything,you'll find the one that truly deserves you and not just the things you are dangling in his face like a juicy t-bone.So basically,while you are out there playing the dating game,you my dear are the one getting played,Like a damn xbox.Know your worth,if you keep offering up the cooch on the happenchance that he might see your great qualities,all he sees is a good woman,yes,but he also sees no need to committ any further because you are giving him what he wants.
She's tryin too hard. Nobody likes a kiss ass…and it sounds like that's what she is. She sounds like she is really nice…but she's tryin TOO hard for a man.
You know you ain't tryin to cook clean swallow spit f*ck ALL THE DANG TIME. Nobody's weenie is THAT gatdamn good. You are tryin to advertise yourself as the perfect girlfriend and wife and to be quite honest with you…nobody worth having wants that. That's no fun. It's obviously very obvious that you are doing whatever you can to make the men know that you are 'wife' material…and that's probably a HUGE turnoff. Dudes just tryin to have fun…be relaxed…see what happens…and all of a sudden you're opening the door with a Betty Crocker apron and spoon and a pair of house slippers with a pipe and dinner in the oven? Maaaaaaan….
People say they don't like games. They don't play games. But honestly….we do. We all do. I'm not talkin about jugglin penii or Molly Joe's….I'm talking about wondering if they'll call. Wondering if they'll answer the phone. Wondering if they'll say yes when asked out…Wondering IF they'll call TO ask you out…Wondering if they like you as much as you like them. Wondering if you'll get to hump…not hump…
If all those questions are answered from the get go….then where is the fun in that?
"juggling penii":goodbye sweet world.
If this wasn't Tracy's own comment Tracy would have a field day responding to it with .gifs
Inception.
x______x
PLUS I think I have a penis juggler somewhere in my bag of tricks
Another great job on the post Hex!!!
the men are schoolin' y'all….some will listen and some won't
and whoever said this:
Cook him toast, then graduate to bacon.
Once I find out who you are you will get a beating LOL
She's putting EVERYTHING she has all on a platter on day 1…what else is there for him to want or desire…
you can't give it all to him up front…
you always have to keep your man wanting to find out more about you
if he has it all after the first date…he's going to bounce…cause in his mind you a hoe and you have probably done all these things to other men…you are too easy…TOO EASY!!!
but that's just my simpleminded opinion…
Stop thinking about how good you can be for a man and start thinking–REALLY THINKING–about how good a man can be for you.
EXAAAAAAAAAAACTLY
**Shrug** I actually agree with the men on this one. But that's just me.
**settles into the corner with a nice glass of Moscato and a plate of fruits and cheeses**
This is gonna be interesting.
*sits with you* I'll eat the fruit…I brought some crackers and sammiches
mmmmmmmm Moscatoooooo
I don't think there's any type of rebuttal to this.
She's giving all her pretty away to everyone.
mphfff… giving the pretty away… ain't that sumpum..
Gentlemen, you've pretty much summed it up. *Joins Aunt Donna, brings crackers and assorted meats*
''She's putting EVERYTHING she has all on a platter on day 1…what else is there for him to want or desire… '''………..AMEN!!!!!!!
eta….Men and some Women already know from the giddyup what they want from you within the first few moments of meeting someone.If you give off a ''marriage-material'' vibe,they will treat you as such,same thing goes if you come off as being just good enough to be an occasional belly warmer.The key to the game is Learn your position and play it or change up the game and only accept what you truly want.
"I don’t play games because I am a grown woman who knows what she wants and I don’t see a need for those silly Steve Harvey chapters about waiting XYZ amount of days to have sex."
:; buffs nails :; and every chick I know who believes this new-fangled shyt is well… interesting…and lonely… and angry about….. because it's just not faaair.
life aint fair.
that line made me think this heffa is bitter as fugg!
I was ready to dismiss her as the typical angry black woman…but I forced myself to read the rest…
she probably still is an angry black woman…but she might not be black lol but she's still angry as fugg
and i'm sure this anger probably comes out with these men…and gets worse as more men come.
I can honestly say I wasn't a woman that "played games" I wanted it, I got it, I moved on. I was perfectly content and never had problems. Than my husband came along, tackled me down to the ground, put a ring on it, thus ending my whorish ways. Moral of the story, when you REALLY are a grown woman that lives with the choices she makes, sets and adheres to clear boundaries in relationships, "hook ups", or quick fcks, it isn't a game. It's you being you. BUT I've been in a relationship for 10 years so my perspective can be off with how shiz is in the world today.
I'm wondering if she's going full throttle at the jump to cover up any underlying issues she may have? Once dudes discover this they may turn away.
She needs to realize a relationship is a marathon, not a sprint.
I was thinking the same thing.Insecurities?abandonment issues?Loooooow self esteem and worth?I'm a firm believer in people only treat you by the energy you give off.Until she does some serious self inventory ,the same stuff is going to continue like a scratched record.She sees what she's doing wrong,she sees the reactions to her actions,so what the problem is?Correct it or accept it,plain,simple cut and dried.
on the flip side of all this is the fact that if a woman does hold out and makes him 'prove' himself by making him wait, the reality is that she has JUST as much chance to lose the average dude ANYWAY.
why? Because more than ever before, men have OPTIONS upon OPTIONS because sex is easier to get than ever before. everrrrrrr before.
so… she gives it up too fast…. dude leaves.
she makes dude wait, dude leaves.
it's almost like women today can't win and i've got no real advice for how to remedy that.
BUT…. I will say this…. YES she is going to lose out on a lot of guys by 'making them wait' and 'prove themselves' but.. but ..but…… she will also continually weed out the guys who simply aren't worth it because they don't think she is worth waiting for….. so when she DOES find a guy is is willing to put in work and wait… get to know her…. she'll know THAT is the dude worth working with.
but to get to that dude, if she ever does? will take a lot of boolshyt.
much of which, many women today just aren't willing to put up with.
they want a man…but not the bullshyt that comes with the search.
part of it is women aren't patient themselves…
they want a ready made, add water and stir relationship
they don't want to wait the "90 days"
baby clock going off
family/friends asking when she is getting married
those things make a woman desperate and impatient as fugg
and that shows all on her face!
you put out what you desire and men aren't as stupid as y'all want us to believe…you can see that ish and you react accordingly
if marriage is your ultimate goal then know your worth
you are worth the wait
you are worth the work
Once you realize that it will show in who you are and how you carry yourself
and men will react accordingly…
90 Days is ridiculous. Even a goal oriented women doesn't want to wait that long.
Once upon a time you were told to wait 3 days to call a girl (with a phone, back in the stone age) — could you imagine a girl giving you her number nowadays and her even REMEMBERING WHO THE HELL YOU WERE three days later?
It's not time that tells the tale — it's the impact you have on each other.
3 months is not that long Hex
In today's world people are busy…dating is not the same
you do good to talk to me for more than 5 minutes once a week…
it could take you 90 days to even get to know my last damn name (well not really but)
I feel like the 90 days would go by fast because you are living your life (well you should be) and I'm living mine and we are just trying to fit each other in
if you think 90 days is too long then maybe you are moving too fast?
I don't see the need of an arbitrary amount of time…. i just know the first date aint it.
still….. the average dude isn't waiting 90 days.
then again the type of man most women would like to spend eternity with aren't the average dude anyway
90 days is what Steve Harvey said I was using it as an example…
I can't remember that one dude's name (Mack something) but he said 5 months…now THAT is too long
Three months of dating used to be the 'v-card deadline' back when I was a teen. We adhered… time flew anyway though, since we were in love. I reckon if I ever fall in love again (not crush on!) with someone who actually wants to date me… I would not have a problem I think. I just tend to fall in lust these days, to be quite frank.
I would break up w/ a guy who made me wait 90 days.
That's pretty much what I'm saying. Not jumping in the first night makes a certain kind of sense, but being put on hold for 90 days? Nawl.
"baby clock going off"
"family/friends asking when she is getting married "
THANK YOU BETH!!! It's like that old saying, "the trap you lay for someone else is the trap you'll fall into." Women don't give "everything" because they have an overage of loving acts and need to get rid of some, they do it because they have a goal. Oftentimes that goal is to fill the desire to procreate, make the people who love them leave them alone, or some other reason that a relationship is a means to an end, and not the end in itself. While I feel bad about the internal and external pressure they feel, the guy you're with does not feel your pressure… directly… but the pressure the sister feels will come out, and be seen as a different kind of pressure for the guy.
Sisters have to know the difference between, "he took advantage of my kindness", and "aw shoot, my plan didn't work." Accepting your level of responsibility in the outcome makes dealing with the fallout, and making the necessary changes, easier.
"so when she DOES find a guy is is willing to put in work and wait… get to know her…. she'll know THAT is the dude worth working with.
but to get to that dude, if she ever does? will take a lot of boolshyt."
#Troof
all I know… is that I don't know of a single good dude…. the kind of guys that women say they want to be married to…. I don't know a single one who has wifed their firstnight f*ck.
not a single one.
none.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8upvesseV1r072ec.jpg">
Say it again for those in the cheap seats!!
first night as in fight time meeting or first date after getting to know em?
cause um, i know some folks…
<img border="0" src="http://www.moneysuccesshappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ProudManPointingAtSelf.jpg" alt="Pulpit rock" width="304" height="228" />
Girlfriend…you are going way too hard in the paint. Stop trying to dunk the bawls in your net allatahm and pass every now and then. You may find one that is willing to take the shot
Basketball analogy?!?!?! Twink is definitely wife material.
"I don’t get when women give that line “I’m everything a man wants — I cook, I clean, etc.” First, not every guy has the same wants/needs. But secondly, are you just doing all this stuff because it’s your personality or because you think it’s what you need to do to get a man? Ain’t nothing worse than a chick that is just doing stuff to just to make a guy happy when you know it ain’t her thing, then you have to hear how she “is always x, y and z for you.” That’s just like a guy giving a chick lip service by only telling her what she wants to hear."
This person.
You are great!
Last night in front of the world Jill Biden told people Joe had to ask her FIVE gat damn times to marry him before she said yes.
A lot of dudes would have cut out after the first time she said "No."
She said that because I think she was trying to show the audience something about the vice president's character.
But personally I think it says a heck of a lot more about just how much Joe Biden knew he couldn't let that girl get away.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BASICALLY
*jumps up and down pointing*
this so much!!
ONE MORE TIME FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE CHEAP SEATS!!!
30 years ago in a land far, FAR away I was that girl.
In retrospect, it was the self esteem that drove me to that "gotta be perfect for every man" state.. thanking Him above, I joined the military where dudes were a dime a dozen and the shoe was turned. I learned I* *could* be choosy as HAIL, and even more important I was smart/sharp and DESERVED the best.
My advice for ol' girl? Indulge in YOU— do all of your fabulous YOU stuff now (learn Japanese, hot yoga, climb some mountains {literally}). Not only will you get a hella lot of confidence, but once you do get hitched, it will be the last damn time you will get to enjoy yourself…
Edit.. meant to hash tag don't rush it but well.. do the math…
"Cook him toast, then graduate to bacon."
Whoever wrote this gave me everything I needed for the weekend. Thank you so much.
This chick is going to kill some dude. No, I'm not joking. I have a friend just like her. She has jacked up 2 cars.
I haven't read any of the other responses yet.
They may not be as attracted to you as they say you are…not enough to maintain a long-term relationship, anyway. And if a dude's on a pu$$y hunt, he's gonna seek out those who'll give it up quickly. So if, for example, you don't believe in waiting for sex and they think you fall in the "easy to bang cuz she may be insecure about something" demographic, they're gonna pounce.
That's all I got for such a limited amount of info.
every time i hear something about: " I'm a grown ass woman I don't have time t play those make him wait games" i just think: DAMN you're a dumb heffa.
LIFE is a game.
you don't like life??
killyaself then.
play the game to win or keep playing yourself. pure and simple
Happy endings for hoes are few and far between…. goes for men and women.
I know a lot of women in your boat Ms. X – and I think if you really want a man to build a future with, you may just have to start to play your part in the game… sucks.
I used to think it would be easier finding a companion when you don't have the pressure of wanting a 'future' and 'making plans' (which I don't) but it's equally shi!tty. Those who want something steady want someone to build a standard future with. Those who don't want to build a future don't want anything steady. I would love to meet someone interesting who does NOT view relationships as projects with deadlines and milestones and 'it's about time we'-s and 'we really should think about'-s.
But let me tell you – a woman who does not aspire to marriage and kids is just as abhorrent to most men as one who is hell-bent on getting it all… the only thing you can do really – and I'm JUST learning that – is be yourself and do YOU. If you are letting yourself be defined by that SO you want but don't even have yet… you are not in for happiness.
"I would love to meet someone interesting who does NOT view relationships as projects with deadlines and milestones and 'it's about time we'-s and 'we really should think about'-s. "
You met me a long time ago. You just moved too slow.
Aaaaw…
saying that you want to be the "main meal" suggests that you are still open for other courses to be sampled. instead, say that you want to be the entire course. you're the soup, salad, entree, dessert, bread, EVERYTHING!
You want to be the main meal?
Stop acting like the bar snack!
And Then there was light!!!!<img src="http://i50.tinypic.com/2ldd65h.gif" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
You trying to get me to shout up in here?! *waves my church fan hella hard*
This. Is. Everything
Plus 20 likes, if I could.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7gmikRZoC1r0dbsj.gif">
That is the best he's ever looked!
This woman sounds very desperate to be in a relationship (have the title) but absolutely no idea of what it takes to keep someone interested. Men sniff this desperation from a mile away and get what they can before it becomes overwhelming. There is a big difference in telling someone you are wife material and actually being wife material. And, stop acting like you didn't read Steve Harvey's book cover to cover thinking you would have a wedding proposal at the end of the 90 days he told you to keep your goodies to yourself,
This is probably not going to be true for everyone but…I met my "forever mate" as soon as I decided I was gonna worry less about finding a relationship and more about making myself happy. I really don't think it was a coincidence. It changed my whole attitude and outlook on life.
Maybe this isnt her trying to be desperate but her being her. Im young and have only been in 2 relationships but maybe she is naturally the all around. Personally I would not have sex with someone I see as potential on the first date but the rest of it….. The cooking, cleaning, handling personal business, and not being needy could just be how she is built. I agree with Slaus that life is a game so you have to learn the rules but some folks are who they are so its hard to just give bits and pieces at a time.
ugh another week where we are agreed with…. fellaz we gotta do better.
Just because y'all are finally showing some sense? *snorts* Don't hate, McFluffy.
Trying too damn hard. Where are you in this whole thing? For you it's all about being what you think a man wants. Umm…..be you, and if you stay true to that, stay honest and not so gatdamn desperate, you'll attract the kind of man that you may not be looking for–that's something else you need to work on because I'm sure you have a checklist of attributes–but he may be the kind of man you NEED.
Take some time and see if you're happy with who you are, alone, without a man. Then work on a relationship.
Question: Are any of the roundtable comments being edited to be less "offensive"? Are you leaving out some commenters whose opinions might be more controversial?
For the most part the comments that are selected are the ones that state their points the clearest and make the strongest statements. Occasionally I'll edit them to make them more readable or to take out name references that would invalidate anonymity, but my goal is to try to leave them as much as they were originally written as I can.
The ones that are left out (for the most part) are the one that echo or repeat statements that have already been chosen, or are too long to be included without taking over the thread.
I will say that (and this should surprise no one) because it's a men's group, there is a lot of joking around and talking ish that happens during the actual threads that hasn't made it to any of the posts so far (we're only 2 weeks in, but still). Most of it is the fellas taking shots at each other, but occasionally they'll mention something about the topic at hand, and I'll sometimes take from the relevant sections to add clarity to things people have already said.
It's a fun post to write, but it's a little tricky putting it all together in a way that makes it readable.
but it's a little tricky putting it all together in a way that makes it readable.
you do an amazing job though Hex! Seriously!! I look forward to this post every week…well sometimes I sneak and read it while your typing it lol
Thanks for answering! I'd be surprised if there wasn't any joking/trash talking in the group….that'd just be boring. Plus it's a nice way for y'all to get together and chat. I was just worried that the comments may have been soft-pedaled in order to make the posts more palatable. Glad to know that's not the case, because even the ones that would catch hell deserve to be seen!
There are usually more comments then Hex posts, but some often say the same thing in a different way. And we're men – we go off on tangents lol
Y'all are supposed to act up – it's how you're made!
Got to get my two cents in since I don't need change for the weekend.
"I am everything guys say they want but still I simply can not hold on to a guy for longer than a few months!"
Hello My sister, I hope you're having a great day. I have two points on this matter based on this statement:
1) You said you "are" everything guys say the "want", but in your description you only talked about things that you "do" that guys "want done". There is a difference. Things guys want done are cooking, cleaning, sucking, etc. But you are not those things. So what are you? Funny? Intelligent? Well-read? Do you volunteer alot? None of those things, or anything like it, appeared in your post. Maybe you need to focus on what the type of man you want to have wants from a woman (personality-wise), and not what men (the general term) say they want have done.
2A) This is a much simpler one. As I've always told my students and friends, all relationships have one thing in common… they all come to an end. Whether it's a one-night stand, or till death do us part. The majority end after a few months. Try not to take it as a crushing defeat of some kind. It's normal… unless…
2B) The don't say anything, they just leave. How these guys are ending things may be tacky, but the fact that they all do it the same way… without talking to you about it… says something about the pattern of your relationships. Two things men do not like. They do not like a woman constantly telling them how good they are to them, and they do not like when they do not have a say in the relationship. When you constantly tell a man how good you are to him, it basically erases everything you do because it's no longer a labor of love but a list of debt to pay off. And when the conversation is such that it doesn't matter what a man says unless he co-signs what you are saying, he stops talking. This all means that it is possible to do all the stuff men want done and still talk yourself out of a relationship.
But good luck in the future.
Ummmmm, where do I sign up??????!!!!!!! IJS Been looking for a woman like that my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If someone wants to be my main meal, then at least allow me to help finding the recipe, searching for the ingredients, and cooking the food. Otherwise I'm just in a restaurant, and I can leave once I've finished, paid and have left a tip.
Unless it's McDonald's…….
Leave it to you to go all kinds of literary on the topic…
She mentions nothing about personality. You might be good on paper, but are you good in person?
Sounds like she's doing a whole lot of domesticated activities trying to show off how good of a wife she can be. How many times does she get taken out on dates? I wonder if every one of her dates are inviting dudes over for dinner, drinks and sex. She says she wears her size 18 well but probably not as well as she thinks. Hence, probably 90% of her dates happening in her home.
The last response was spot on. I'll take it a step further. There's an entitlement issue there. Not attractive at all. Oh, and the willingness to do property damage if she doesn't her way? Also not a good look.
ok first off I would lov 2 b apart of the round table…hint! I allpied but didnt get picked
now 4 miss lady….it seems simple 2 me. if dudes r just hittin 4 a minute & then cuttin out. U hav 2 also ask yourself……wat is it bout me that is not engaging or interesting enough 2 hold mens attention? basicly…wat do u do? wat do u like? wat r your intrests? can u hold a inteligent convo about a variaty of issues big & small? do u hav opinions u like 2 share? r u fun (other than sex)….or r u BORRING AS HELL? wit no real hobbies or intrest? ect… u wouldnt want 2 b stuck wit a dude thats borring as hell….so neither do dudes!
start askin dudes that holla at u…"wat is it bout u that makes them want 2 go out wit u? if his answer has nothin 2 do wit who u r as a person or an intress he sees u envolved in….u might wanta keep it movin. "everything that men want" ….save all that 4 the dude that is interested in u as a person & lets u know hes lookin 4 a real relationship/wife. exspecillay if a dude turns sex down at first to get 2 know u better first. ( b carefull though…this could also just b som mac game also….game reconize game)
did you email me, Kd? send me your facebook link
ok