When Johnny Broestler got in an argument over rent with a man who lived on the same property, he took matters into his own hands, officials say.Unfortunately, those hands were filled with poop-stained underwear, which he allegedly smeared on his victim’s face, theGainesville Sun reported.The reported excrement incident started when Broestler entered the trailer of Walter Liddell, 60, and demanded money to give to the landlord.Liddell, who was napping at the time, woke up and started arguing with Broestler, according to the Independent Florida Alligator. Things got fecally physical when Broestler grabbed some dirty underwear and smeared it on to Liddell’s face, according to the arrest report.“The underwear was full of poop, and he was trying to wipe it all over me,” Liddell told the Alligator. He added that he pushed the underwear back into Broestler’s face.The skid mark skirmish spilled outside and continued until a neighbor broke it up. Liddell called police.“When the cops came by, [Broestler] was still covered with the poop,” Liddell said. “He never tried to wash himself to get it off.”Deputy Craig Smith, who answered the call, duly noted that Liddell had fecal matter on his neck and ear, and took Broestler to jail, where he was charged with battery. He remained there as of Monday in lieu of a $5,000 bond, the Gainesville Sun reported. [source]
Seriously, all these extra nouns n verbs were so damn unnecessary in reporting this story, they really were.
Only thing that was needed to say was: Argument. Florida. Trailer Park. Smothered with poop stained drawls.
Your damn imagination would have filled in the rest and you would have been accurate ass accurate. Hell, the key word in all of this is FLorida. Then trailer park. ANYTHING else you had to say regardless how outlandish would have made perfect sense.
Yesterday in FLorida a __________ named _________ decided to __________ all up in another b*tch’s face which resulted in ________________ and __________.
No matter what you put in those spaces… with the setting being a Florida Trailer park….. everything will make perfect sense.
Hell, try it for yourself.
All I know is, anyone smother MY facial area with shatty undergarments can cancel christmas and any other future dates and activities other than being deaded in their face.
I know that isn’t a word… but some deadeding is gonna happen,