Yes it’s true. I have to leave OHN for a while. Why? Man I had a dream last night… it was rough.
Here is what I dreamed. And they say the last thing you think about before you drift off is what you dream about. So.. I was thinking about which one of my post in draft I will use and I drifted off.
I dreamed there was a OHN Meet & Greet here in Atlanta. Everyone came… Fubs and the Missus..Jonesey all from overseas. All the people stateside came. CaraQ, Queensgirl, Hex, everyone. Bef and Slaus was helping me with all the arrangements. Getting food set up, getting the DJ set up…all the things that go along with making it the bomb M&G. We hand a banquet hall and the whole nine yards.
When the party started, everyone was drinking, dancing meeting each other in person for the first time. Pictures were being taken. Fun was being had by all. Slaus pulled me aside and and told me that since I was hosting, I need to make a speech. So I did. As I got up on stage, the DJ lowered the music. I started thanking everyone for coming.
That’s when things went wrong…
You guys remember all the “Say Something Nice” nominees? Yeah.. well they found us. Well found me.
They busted through the door. All of them.. everyone we tried to say something nice about. They came in and came to the stage. Limping, rolling, dragging their legs, hopping…whatever. They grabbed the mic from me and said they were tired of being picked on by all of us. That they secretly read the blog and was taking notes of what everyone was saying. They said they could not get us all so they decided to get me. Make ME pay for everyones remarks. So one by one…they took turns beating me up.
The one legged stripper MADE me sit in seat while she gave me a lap dance. I was nauseated. And every time I tried to get up, she would put the “nub” leg on my chest and make me sit back down.
The fat lady with the extra wide back? She was there. Every time I tried to run I would run into her back. No matter which way I turned. Her back was EVERYWHERE!
And the chick Slaus posted last week. You know the one.. with the arm that look like the Nike Swoosh? Yeah.. she was there with her arm cocked taking pictures of the whole thing. While I was getting beat up I managed to ask her.. why are you taking pictures of this?!?!? HOW are you taking pictures of this?!?!? She got mad and started hitting me with the camera. She was swinging on me. But honestly it didn’t hurt cause she didn’t really have a good swing. But I digress.
The midget were there..EVERY midget we ever talked about. The females midgets were trying pull my pants down while the male ones was tryingto kick me. The females were trying to get their tiny little hands around my… well never mind.
And you know what you guys did to help?!?!?!? Nothing.
You laughed HARD!!
THEN All of you.. the ones beating me up and all of you..everyone.. made me sit in the corner for the rest of the night. While you all partied.
Yeah.. this is why I need a break from OHN…
For the weekend
See you guys Monday.