Artificial hymen: $29.95.
Your dignity: Priceless.You choose which to keep.
The Artificial Hymen Kit, made internationally available by HymenShop.com, promises to “restore your virginity in five minutes.” For about $30, women can buy a packet of fake blood and “membrane” from Hong Kong that’s supposed to be utilized — secretly — during sex.
The site implies that the shocking product will save marriages by allowing women to trick their significant others into thinking they still have a hymen.
“Kiss your deep dark secret goodbye and marry in confidence,” the site reads. “Have your first night back anytime!”
The site also assumes that women are afraid that their hymens can be broken “via physical activity or even by the use of a tampon.”
If, for some reason, a brand new hymen sounds appealing to you, don’t get your hopes too high. New York Magazine took the product for a test run, and it seems like the Artificial Hymen Kit serves more as a packet of fake blood than actual flesh.
The Artificial Hymen Kit is exactly what it sounds like: Sealed in silver packages and nestled in a bed of pink satin in a small wooden box, the kit contains two “prosthetic membranes.”We conclude, the “hymen” part of this device is besides the point. What’s to break? It dissolved instantly. But does that matter? I don’t know anyone who’s actually felt a hymen break mid-intercourse, and suspect that those utilizing the artificial hymen in earnest don’t, either.
In some parts of the world, the fake hymen is controversial. Egyptian lawmakers tried to ban a similar product in 2009 after a radio reporter translated the Chinese advertisement for the product into Arabic. While the fake hymen might seem ridiculous to some, virginity, as New York Magazine points out, “can be a literal issue of life and death” in some parts of the world.
That said, this particular kit sells primarily to buyers in the United States. [source]
OK… i get that there are a whole lot of guys out there who have this thing about taking a woman’s virginity. To know they were the first to enter her woo-hoo patch. I also understand that in many parts of the world, a woman being a virgin or not is a matter of life and death… marriage material or not.
I get this.
I also get that it’s silly as f*ck.
Fool, this isn’t some damn impressive feat! It ain’t Mt Rushmore. It ain’t like becoming the first Black President… it’s not like being the first man on the moon, silly-azz fool. It’s a vagina. It’s a warm place with a thin layer of mucus coating it that becomes wetter with arousal. A Place that you just so happened to get inside due to no special damn act. If it wasn’t you, it woulda been the next dude. It ain’t a huge accomplishment. It’s not cloning the first damn human being.
It’s putting a penis inside someone.
WHoop-dee-doo.
I have never understood the whole deflowering thing and I never will. Just some silly-azz testosterone shyt, just like buying clothes you want to fit INTO instead of the size you actually are, is some damn estrogen shyt. It’s all stupid…. and I don’t get it.
There was a guy I knew who was so proud he married a virgin that it was literally the first thing he would say about the woman whenever you asked about her. You could be asking what her chicken recipe was and this bytch would find a way to be like: ” She batters the chicken, then dips it in milk..then batters it again real special like… she is special as hell…. you know she was a virgin right until I hit it.. I’m the only one.” Yo how did you meet your wife? ” Oh you know she was a virgin when i met her…” Dude…. ok? Of course he kept a realllllly freaky chick on the side due to the fact he said his wife wasn’t really into a lot of the things he was sexually so a more experienced woman on the side was necessary.
………… yeah ok.
That’s why I feel not only annoyed, but disgusted by any chick who would do this for a dude. Tell that fool to kick rocks if it’s that damn deep for him.
But that’s just me. Whole thing sounds dumb as f*ck in my opinion.
To each their own.
If a dude is this insecure about your virginity or lack thereof……heffa keep it moving.
<img src=http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_laovznICVG1qcupmyo1_500.jpg>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!! You brough me out of the shadows… I couldnt lurk on this one!
………………………………………………….. I also just laughed out during a business meeting, so i kinda hate you until I am sure I still have a job…
Whooops!
If someone is gullible enough to believe this, it should come with a patch of bubble wrap to place in between the sheets for sound effects.
Bubble wrap FTW!!!
I actually visualized this….and no.
If a dude is stupid enough to fall for this,he needs an instruction manual<img src="http://i49.tinypic.com/rw5o3n.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
Half a pound of factory blood,
A pinch of stupid woman.
Mix it up and watch it flood,
Pop! goes the hymen.
**dead and my eye is on the sparrow**<img src="http://i45.tinypic.com/2rgo0b4.gif" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
You gotta go, ma'am
So what you are saying is that this is the hymen-lich maneuver?
It will take most of you alllll day to get it.. but when you do…..
What does it say about me that I got it right away?
That you and I are closer than you think?
LMAO…and it only took less than 30 seconds to get that.
It's triple good because "heimlich" also happens to be the German word for sneaky/secretive… 8)
Can I chime in?
I'll still be rhymin'
when I'm in your hymen
I radiate like it was '88
and I'm searching for my lady mate
I'm a hunter-gatherer
a knter-latherer
My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice
granny's panties moist.
NO<img src="http://i47.tinypic.com/2wd13jr.gif" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
Really i still have nightmares about this damn movie til this day a clown can't get with in 30ft of me.
Damn u
What is this??? LOL
From Stephen King''It''
<img src="http://crasstalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/seriously-no-amas.gif">
I love it!
This is stupid. Who wants to be a virgin again, anyway? I know I don't.
O.o
…
Yeah. No.
dafuk
<img src="http://i376.photobucket.com/albums/oo201/originalwharris/Favorite%20Gifs/tumblr_m6vmxeAAbG1qhrv31.gif" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
<img src="http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/pinkdafairy/Thread%20Bombs/mjwtfb1tch.png">
<img src="http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb163/pinkdafairy/Thread%20Bombs/Exasperatedcat2.jpg">
That shyt is cute when you're a teenager. And only then.
I had to pass this around at work and one of my co-workers said something quite profound and yet disturbing, "We find this ridiculous, but somewhere in the world this just saved some woman's life."
So true….if you go to the site and look at the languages at the top.
That was EXACTLY what I was thinking.
~MissQuinn