Hey.. don’t cuss me too bad… it’s just how I see shyt by observing single men and women. And if I had to choose, I wouldn’t want to be a single chick in 2012 for NOTHING. I’d have a better chance as a limping llama on the open plain with a pack of lionesses in pursuit.
Just saying…..
Dudes today are WINNING and winning haaaaard. I can’t even fault them… why feel bad when you are on the winning team…..
When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.
red dot fo head chicks…
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I would eat the curry out of them!
Lo….threw up in my mouf a little..get the hell out —————————>
eh
I don't even care anymore…
I won't ever be winning
I'm a single parent with no degree and I'm a big girl…apparently I'm everything wrong with black women…
I'm trying to find peace in being by myself…
I wish I didn't care.
I have no children and two 1/2 degrees. I'm a big girl too but I know lots of child-free degree having skinny sistah's with no man because they don't want Jamal.
And while I'm sure you are the last one to need a pep talk, I just wanted to tell you ain't a damn thing wrong with you and don't ever say 'I won't ever be winning' again or I will come and cut yo azz.
THIS.
Beth,don't do that,You don't give yourself the props you truly deserve.Every day you wake up you are winning.No degree?So what,you have a roof over your families' head ,food on the table and innernets,you are doing wayyy better than a lot of people that have multiple pieces of paper hanging on their walls.i've never met you,but just judging by your pics,I think you are extremely attractive,and if I was single….and not a Female,and Lived a little bit closer to you,I'd marry the shyt outta you.
I concur! Beth is what you call a real woman! Thats my take on it sure theres options for men but they are all a bunch of fake nail, fake hair, fake body part having heffas. Men are getting tired of it ladies and soon we natural women with heart will have our day!
^^^^^^ This right there….I have slimmed down back to a 10 ( i had let my weight gt the best of me, and was damn near a 16), but I have kids, a house and 2 cars….so, yeah, anywho…..seems as though hoodrats have been have the best yr ever though, cause they are the ones with a man on their arms…
Hoes stay winnin'.
I'm usually a lurker with occasional comments but I have to say I think that men that can't see how fabulous are aren't worth to share the same oxygen as you. I wish for you all the peace and serenity in yourself you can achieve.
Left me chime in as a dude on a female dominated board.
Bef.. from a REAL man perspective, none of that would matter. Some men like women with meat on them. It has nothing to do with it. Speaking for me it's whats in your heart. I would rather have a woman with a little meat on her and a good heart than any other type of women that is self centered andthink the world is all about her. You are beautiful from what I have seen so far. And smart..and intelligent. As far as a degree. What does that suppose to mean. That you are not smart? Not well versed? Not true. There are plenty of degreed, skinny women out there that are not worth the time of day. If you want to get your degree.. do it for you. If you want to lose a little weight…do it for you.
A real man is on his way to you. Any you are ready. And he will love you for you.
Girl please! I'm a divorced mother of one, double degreed, & I am also on the chunky side & it's no better out there for me! It's not that there's anything WRONG with us as Slaus has so eloquently stated in the comic strip, it's just that some guys don't see what they have in front of them. And it is truly their loss.
With your smart, pretty azz. . . . .
Don't do that to yourself!
*In my Amistad voice* Let us be free (together then Beth, b/c looks like there alot of us on this damn boat with ya!)
Slaus just listed every line as to why I'm not one for the Dating Game. I'll take alone over being with an asshole. I've seen what being Asshole Yoked will get you – straight misery!
… or 3 to 5 for assault with a deadly weapon.
I've almost been there!
Asshole Yoked doe? Grimey and biblical? Lol!
I wish I had a rebuttal.
Welp, that's pretty much how I feel about dating and why I gave up.
I refuse to keep pretzeling myself to appease someone when in the end he'll ditch me anyway.
I'm just glad I never had any kiddies!
Well…anyone want to start the collection plate for the truth that has been revealed on the OHN pulpit?
It's bad being a single woman now if you think that having a man is your only mission in life. I wasted too many years on dumbasses because I didn't value myself enough to leave. I know better now and would ratherbe happy alone than miserable with someone else.
I think what bothers me about the situation is that no one ever offers up any real tangible solutions. No one, and I mean NO ONE, wants to compromise. And let's not forget to mention that we all…MEN AND WOMEN…want "old school" like partners in the "new school" dating era where the old school rules no longer seem to apply. Yet again, I partly blame feminism for this huge shift in the "game". There are pros and cons in every movement and this is just one of the "fall outs".
Pounce on me if you must. I don't care. I've gotten used to it. C'est la vie.
basically….. it's gotten to the point i stay silent on it…… sorry… but all these options a dude has are a direct consequence of the female sexual empowerment movement.
I support that movement 100%. It is ridiculous that a different ruleset should apply to men and women when it comes to sex.
but…. for every noble act there WILL be negative consequences.
Yet again, I partly blame feminism for this huge shift in the "game".
I can see the reasoning behind this. With the women's movement, women became "BISH, IONT NEED YOU TO OPEN MY GATDAMN DOOR OR PAY FOR DINNER!!!" and men were like "oh, okay". And then stopped doing gentlemanly things altogether.
Is it really the gentlemanly things or is it just that people are willing to stick to the standards that they set forth?
Is it really feminism? By the time we were coming of age, none of us were burning our bras and fighting to be seen as equals to men. Our mothers and grandmothers may have still been trying to break through that glass ceiling, but how many of those lessons really trickled down to our generation before it all went to hell?
I think, in part, yes feminism has played a part in the breakdown of our social structure. Women needed a movement to fight for and ensure equal rights in the workforce as men but where we all fall short is is this desire to be "seen as equals to men". MerrWeb offers a few of definitions of "equal": "of the same measure, quantity, amount, or number as another" and "like in quality, nature, or status" and "regarding or affecting all objects in the same way".
While this should apply to the workplace (i.e. equal pay for equal work) this definition isn’t applicable in our social structure (i.e. the dating game) We are not the same. Never will be. We were meant to be a compliment to each other.
I’ll give you an example: Scroll up to Foolishand****ery’s comment where she extols her house and 2 cars. When men are seeking a wife they are not checking for a woman’s material accroutrements. I’ve been guilty of the same thing so I don’t want you to think I’ve always been beyond what I’m pointing out. “I have a great job, college degree, make good money, a house, a car…I’m making it happen out here for me.” Sounds familiar, right? Well these are things that women look for in a man, not vice versa. We are conditioned to look for a “good provider”, one that will stick around yet we’ve (women) assumed these characteristics and expect them to be appealing to men in that same regard. This is where that “we’re equal and on par with men” mindset has gotten us as a whole.
I think I’m rambling now so I’mma just shush it.
I love you!
I freakin' love you!!!
my ex-boyfriend had a HUGE issue with where I was financially…he had a degree yet I made more money than him. he had to move back home (not by choice job closure happened quicker than he could prepare) but I owned mine. He felt like I would never "need" him…and I helped him feel that way with my I am woman here me roar bullshyt.
Took me a few years to realize that doing it all by myself is not cute nor is it fun…I want a partner…shoot in some ways I might even need one…not sure I'll ever have one though…
I think what frustrates me about when you use "I blame feminism" is that feminism gets pigeon holed into this one ideology where women were just complaining that they weren't getting paid the same as men. To this day there are still pay inequities among the sexes. What gets overlooked in the feminist movement (the second wave actually is what we seem to disagree on) is where it wasn't just pay, but sexual harassment, domestic violence, reproductive rights, maternity leave, etc, that brought women, for the most part from under the thumb of men.
How about this take…perhaps it isn't the feminist movement at all, where Foolishandeffery listed all of the physical/capital gains, but there was nothing in there regarding emotional health. In my opinion, I see that more as a result of living in such a capitalistic society where money is power and you prove your worth by what you possess on the outside instead of what you have going on internally. Does that make sense? Or have I rambled just as much?
“(the second wave actually is what we seem to disagree on) is where it wasn't just pay, but sexual harassment, domestic violence, reproductive rights, maternity leave, etc, that brought women, for the most part from under the thumb of men”
No, we agree on this. But do you also agree that the women’s sexual revolution/empowerment is also intricately intertwined with feminism? We are living with the fall out from that when it comes to “dating” and “pairing up”. It’s a simple case of supply and demand in it’s simplest form. Men married to have sex. Now, with pum trading so low on the Nasdaq where’s the incentive to pair up with one when it’s being offered by hundreds more? lol
This capitalistic society we live in is not new. Women from the beginning of time preferred men who could provide. And how do we measure those “good providers”? By what they have acquired in this capitalistic environment. For all the advancements women have made, and those in our generation are reaping the benefits, we are also dealing with the downside of that.
Feminism has done a great deal of good but you cannot, and should not, ignore and turn a blind eye to the negative side effects. It isn't the only reason we are where we are but it has played a big part.
Yes, I do agree that that the women's sexual revolution/empowerment is intertwined with feminism (that's what I meant by second wave). I think I minimize the look at me, I can have my own orgasm compared to women being able to get out of abusive situations, marital rape being a valid assault, etc. First wave was suffrage, second wave is what most people think about and third wave came about in the 1990s to present involving more communities of color, immigrants and the poor.
I wasn't saying that capitalism was new. Just more of the perspective that we appear to value material things more than what someone has to offer in emotional security. You know, honesty, trust, integrity, respect, stuff like that.
You did NOT say that the pum is trading low on the Nasdaq (shouldn't it be Nasdack).
But still, how is that feminism's fault? Whereas, and please, correct me if I'm wrong, here, we are constantly discussing the lack of two parent house holds, single mothers, baby daddies stepping out on the children they helped to create. Wouldn't that, have more of an effect, when the people raised in those environments, given what they saw, then modeled their lives after that? I saw my daddy run out on my mom, so I'm just not gonna have a man or my momma did everything for me, so I expect my woman to do it too kinda ideals.
And is women being more educated (have you seen what's going on in Iran for women lately), being able to hold property, possessions, etc, a negative side effect? Is it really feminism? I keep saying that because living in my lefty world out here, where there is a feminist community center and ALL of the heterosexual women who are on the board are married or in long term relationships. So it's working for some of them
Seriously, if someone is going to dog you for your success, they should pucker up to kiss the darkest part of your behind.
Husbands have been leaving wives with kids forever, however, it has gotten much worse. Blame the single mother households and this baby daddy crap on social norms. What made it socially acceptable for a single woman to get pregnant, either by conventional means or insimination, and raise the child solo? I mean it is celebrated and encouraged. What paved the way for this to happen? I think we may disagree on the answer. lol
and yes as a whole we as a society place more value on material things and not emotional security and the things you've listed out. I don't blame feminism for that though but on this consumerism mentality fueled by capitalism. More is good.
I think we agree on the good things the movement brought about but we part ways on how it has negatively affected our society.
I'm not sure what's going to save women around the world who live in patriarchal societies and their deeply entrenched religious beliefs. However, I do think the men in those societies see the fall out from our "progressive" society and are hell bent on avoiding it. In no way does that excuse the atrocities women are facing in other parts of the world I'm just not sure what a "balanced" solution would look like.
Anyhoo…enjoyed the exchange!!!
If you are talking about what I think you are talking about paving the way for praise of the single parent….gurl, yes, we are going to have to agree to disagree on some of these things..
You know we still live in a patriarchal society too. Just because we aren't being stoned in the streets, doesn't mean our (collective) struggles are over.
*smooches*
When I said my house and 2 cars, I wasn't being upitty about it…those 2 things seem to scare men off…so, I shrug it off and say, oh f**king well….it is what it is….
Oh, I know you weren't being uppity about it and if you read my comment again, you'll see why some men are turned off by that. Sad but true. These are great things to have accomplished as a single woman, hell I have done the same. But when we list what we think are suitable attributes for attracting a mate, it isn't what most men find "important". It's a catch 22 isn't it?
*hoping for any of the men to chime in on this* lol
"*hoping for any of the men to chime in on this* lol"
pssh
I asked 20 hetereosexual dudes of different races, nationalities, level of education, marital status and age regarding what they thought were the biggest problems facing them in their relationships
single men said the biggest problems they faced were having too many options
married men: being the best husband/father I can be and ignoring all these women out there chomping at the bit to take me for themselves.
interesting.
Its especialy true out here on the west coast! I was just saying that the other day!
Ugh, who let the boo-hoo party in here?
Just don't date big-ass-options Jamal up there.
[youtube B3FzW5vQUm4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3FzW5vQUm4 youtube]
As far as I can tell, dating is never easy — the specific problems change every few years, but finding the right person is always a tough road. If it wasn't I'd still be with that one wacky chick in my first grade class that I thought was interesting to sit by in class.
How many years later is this and I'm damn sure I dodged a bullet when I sat at the other table at lunch in second grade. Girl ate crayons.
The dating world is 97.86% Jamal.
I'm single, and I am damn sure more than 2.14% of anything I put my mind to.
All I'm really saying is yeah, it's hard out there. Finding what you really want in a world where everyone seems to settle feels like playing a stacked game — but that doesn't mean you give up on it just because it's frustrating.
I'm pretty sure you fit into .001% of every category Hex because you are just rarer than raw beef, dude.
I haven't given up. Just acknowledging the truth of the game.
I'm single, and I am damn sure more than 2.14% of anything I put my mind to
I know that's right Hex!
Damn why cant you cool dudes move to LA? Why we gotta have all the sissy la las out here!
"red dot fo'head"
bwah ha ha haha
<img src="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b159/action9026/1339305483303869_animate_zps26e5f112.gif">
I love that SNL Short!
Feminism Has nothing to do with men or women today, its the media. The media be it television, videos, music, ads, writing. Its a sexist thing, the media portrays women as objects and not subjects. It is true that women are here to be a helper to men, but if all men see women as objects through the media, we can't expect them to see us as subjects. Plus women have taking it a step further and started selling their selves as objects. a coach asked a 12 year old boy how would he feel if his team told him he plays like a girl. He stated it would destroy him. If thats his answer, what are we teaching boys about girls? The media tells men they need to control and sleep with as many women as possible, and it tells girls to compete with other women! Its nothing but a cycle, and we all are falling right into it.
The comic strip is funny…and (somewhat ) accurate.
The question begs: At what point in the past was it "better"?
I'll be the first to tell you that the way men & women relate to each other in these "enlightened" times is STILL quite miserable. We want different things…and (generally) neither of us is wrong.Then again (generally) neither of us is right.
I can tell you that-as a single black man over the age of 30- you had better be rich.Or you may NEVER have sex…or even so much as a date EVER AGAIN.At least not with anyone you'd really wanna be with.Just become a monk…it'll be the same thing.
Dude, your pessimism is killing the taste of ice cream.
the taste of ice cream?
LMAO!!!
My taste buds are closely tied to sunshine, rainbows, unicorns, and joyous optimism.
Even as a single bloke, I never saw the problem with a woman being equal to me, or indeed being more successful. I've dated women who were making higher wages than me. Not really that much of a problem. Same goes for now I'm married – I don't feel emasculated by it all, and never did to begin with. I can see where chocl8t is coming from with her critique of feminism, but I also think that it's one of those things that we're simply being premature in expecting to be resolved so soon. As I said on someone's FB post recently – if it's taken women centuries to obtain any acknowledgement from men that equality is an idea that deserves listening to, if it's taken further decades for any of that equality to begin to percolate through, then it sure as hell is gonna take a long time for equality to actually meaningfully happen – if at all. And that means the mentality as much as the practicality of it. Those countries of a more religious bent – which are therefore virtually all male-dominated? Well, I really don't know. If the Repubs win this election, then maybe we'll have a bit of a test case right before our very eyes, seeing as some of them are rather Taliban-esque in their beliefs……
Two of the great economists of all time – Hayek and Keynes, were on opposing sides of the fence, but even they knew that there was too much that was unpredictable to ever make economics into a true empirical science. Thus it's probably also so with the male/ female dynamic; trying to accurately predict the way things are going is a fool's game. There's a book out right now called The End of Men. If that hasn't got HUBRIS written all over the pages, then I'd ask for it to be returned for a reprint……
*slides in in my white socks* *hits wall* I'm ok!
Ok so you know I had to chime in on this one. My twin hit the nail on the head with this one IMO. But in any situation I believe all of us can win. Even when I was single I never gave up, one bum down on to the next n***a. Men need to stop being breast fed Jody's and women need to stop being overly aggressive I am woman hear me roar I don't like myself you gotta be this that and the third" Lionesses. Bitterness is not sexy neither is a lazy ass dude.
I'm probably the biggest chick on here and that never stopped me from getting a dude. You are what you attract. If you lack confidence then a wolf is going to smell that and pounce. Playing the victim gets you victimized every time. I say to all, stay encouraged. If Honey Boo Boo's momma can get a man, there's hope for you too Chocolate Thundercat!
Chocolate Thundercat?!!?
I shall use this at some point in this month.
My thoughts after going back & forth earlier on this topic was, what if people are just picking shyt partners? It's not what you have, or your looks, but you are just losing because you are picking whatever comes along with a pulse and a pen15.
I would just like to say…Oh, well!
I don't think the overall level of happiness has decreased. AT ALL.
We used to be miserable with spouses we didn't choose or had to take at some point because we were growing old and undesirable. Now we're miserable singles. I don't believe for one minute the number of happy couples has ever been higher, just – the number of couples in wedlock may have been. I think it's always been shyt out there, but as a whole, we aren't used to spending so much of our lives 'out there'. If all of you single mothers had been forced to marry the father of your first born and STAY married to them because divorce was taboo – how many of you would NOT be single today?
Do you think you'd be happier? I doubt it. If we were still living by 50s societal standards… it'd be a different kind of misery.