With this latest Ryder Cup collapse, what does that do for a certain golfer’s legacy?
J. Nicklaus, FL
Lookit, I love El Tigre as much as the next Eldrick fan, but, maaaan, facts and examples can be a straight bytch, ya heard? Like, from 1959 to 1983, the U.S. never lost a Ryder Cup match. Guess who was the world’s greatest golfer during that period? On the red side of the ledger, there’s the period from 1997 to this most recent shart stain, a period in which the U.S. has only won twice. Guess who was the lead dog on the sled team during that period?
So, the regular NFL referees are back, right? Everything is back to normal?
T. Donaghy, San Quentin
Timmy, the NFL wants us to forget the Fail Mary, a/k/a The Inaccurate Reception, the play in which the replacement referees stole a victory from the Green Bay Packers. While that play, by itself, will stand alone in infamy, I think it’ll be more than just an oddity of this particular season. By way of a f’rinstance (thanks, Marv), let’s think about how one game could fugg Green Bay…say, in the race for the wild card? That particular play swung something like $300 million dollars in Vegas…does anyone really want to believe that none of the legbreakers had more than a few grips riding in the pockets of that scab crew?
Yeah, I said it.
Too much money was changing hands in those games for the betting interests not to have taken interest. The real refs have been vetted and paid and are insulated from the legal sports books…but the replacements? One of them was fired from the Lingerie League for incompetence, for crying out loud! Come on, there are any number of off-the-book sports books that would have been more than happy to swing a point here and there…
Is there any way we can get Drew Brees retroactively suspended for next week’s game? Just askin’, y’know…
Golden Arm, Baltimore
If all goes well, Drew Brees is about to break a record that many (ya mans included) thought would never fall: the consecutive games with a touchdown pass record. The current record stands at 47 straight games, set by the immortal Johnny Unitas from 1956 to 1960. A lot of people want to preserve the memory of Unitas’ accomplishments, that he set this record in an age of blood and bone, that he had to face down Jurassic-era predators like Chuck Bednarik and Ray Nitschke.
To such people, I might suggest that there’s a reason why no one has repeated this feat in the 52 years since its establishment, little things like film study and computer software specifically designed to expose a person’s idiosyncrasies. More than that, Johnny U. never had to face the chaos that is the zone blitz, or the Bears’ infamous “46″ defense, or that particularly brutal Baltimore Ravens defense of 2000, or, (shudder), the werewolves and saquatches that made up the Pittsburgh Steelers defense of 1976. Yes, we play more games in a season now than did Unitas, and yes, the rules have been tweaked to allow more passing, but there is a good reason why guys like Joe Montana, Dan Fouts, Troy Aikman, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, or Dan Marino (who held just about every meaningful passing record in history EXCEPT this one) have never done it.
So, ah, who ya like to start for the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets next weekend?
S. Manchez, East Rutherford
It couldn’t be any more bleak for the Jets right now. Their alleged offense couldn’t offend a nun. The Niners defense ran through the Jets like an intestinal virus this last weekend, and all season long, this “offense” has been about as anemic as a guest at Dracula’s castle. As long as Rex Ryan keeps saying that “Mark Sanchez is the answer,” the question will have to be “Why did Rex Ryan get fired in 2012?” Ryan will have to go to Tebow at some point, because it can’t get any worse for his team with Sanchez throwing soft lobs to the other team.
When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.
Black and japanese actually... Between 'Black don't crack' and the Asians don't age myth, this woman is gonna sill be fine as hell at 300 TERUKO BURRELL 9/20/1958 I’m half Japanese, half African-American. My mother is Japanese and met my father when he was in Japan during the Korean War.