Only in florida. Woman assaults man for climaxing before she did……

Remember all that nice stuff I was saying about FLorida the other day? Yeah well…. let’s forget all about that because in the last 24 hours, FLorida has just shown it’s ASS, people!!! It’s whole entire ass!!!


NOVEMBER 27–A Florida woman was jailed last night for a post-coital assault on her boyfriend, an attack the victim says was prompted when only he climaxed during a sexual encounter in the couple’s residence.

Raquel Gonzalez, 24, was arrested Monday afternoon for felony domestic battery and booked into the Manatee County lockup, where bond has been set at $750. Gonzalez is pictured in the adjacent mug shot.

According to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, Gonzalez and Esric Davis, 30, are “boyfriend and girlfriend who live in the same home and are involved in a sexual relationship.”

Deputies noted that Davis and Gonzalez were “involved in sexual intercourse” when “Esric then climaxed and Raquel did not.” Which reportedly angered Gonzalez, who allegedly “began hitting and scratching [Davis], causing scratches near his eye and nose.” Davis told investigators that Gonzalez “goes off” frequently and that she had previously been physical with him.

At one point, Gonzalez told deputies, “I have scratches on me too from where he tried to restrain me when I lost it.” Gonzalez was reportedly “belligerent and uncooperative” and declined to answer questions post-Miranda. [source]

First of all, please believe that if I got my azz whooped for ejaculating too fast, understand that I wish I WOULD file  a damn police report about SHYT!!!!!!!

That ish is going to be between ME, YOU and the jeweler i went to to buy you shyt for my lack of kong.

But that is how it goes though doesn’t it! That is why you need to not sit there talking all that ish about your kongitude because if the shyt doesn’t go down like it should…

Have you sitting there afterwards talking about: ” I like your hair…… you know what.. tomorrow im gonna cook your favourite meal tomorrow… should buy those shoes you’ve been looking at……..i like your hair.”


Thanks to CeCe for the send in.

When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.

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  • foolishnessandfuckery

    Man, the shyt pisses me off to NO END!!! I use have a little boyfriend, and when I say little, thats what I mean, and he would do that…soon as he get in, 5/10 minutes later he balled up like a newborn, shivering….SMH…I have kicked him out my house before…

  • kajani914

    Now, let me start with "violence is wrong"…BUT…I feel her though. Sometimes you just wanna…!!!…yeah, I get it. Still wrong though. But I get it.

    • Bubblewrappe

      I second that!!!! I wouldnt beat a dude but I get it!!!!

  • msjess7

    What even makes this story funny is that they gave her a $750 bond, LMAO….But I feel her, I've felt like whooping a mofo's behind after 5 minutes!!! I hope she deals with her anger issues and maybe BOB can go longer,

    • YKM

      the judge probably laughed his/her @$$ off when they read the police report ^_^ I know I wouldve. ergo the 750.

      that's like the CHEAPEST bond i EVAR saw…

  • Miss Chief Marina

    ain't nan thing wrong with nutting early! if that break ain't for round two, rolling over to sleep, then that's something to worry about. but seriously lady. you beat the brakes off him because he knew his magic number?

    • YKM

      his magic number was -2.

      slow singin…. flower bringin….

  • Damelo Suave

    Now that's the Florida I know! Where the ratchetness never ceases…

  • Ardamus79

    Dude: "I gotta get mines….you gotta get yours!"
    Chick: "Say what? I know this nucca did not just….."

    *reaches for gun*

  • bsmuv

    Just wow…..

  • originalwharris

    *In my Chris Rock voice*

    I'm not saying I agree, but I understand…

  • Beffa

    I wouldn't have beat his ass I would have just made him feel like the worthless punk ass he is

    I remember some dude I was messin' with talked a lot of mess…I gave him the bloomer puddin' and this ni**a nutted in like 2 minutes….I was like is that it?! You talked all that ish and this is what I got! He was like but round 2 I'ma blow your back out…me: umm ain't no round 2 I wasted my good panties for this…get out!

    • future_rmc_phd

      Not "wasted the good panties" LOL. Bef you are hilarious.

      • cakes_and_pies

        I snorted at "good panties."

    • chocl8t

      "I wasted my good panties for this


    • Damelo Suave

      I gave him the bloomer puddin'…

      I wasted my good panties for this

      <img src=""&gt;

    • Twink

      "bloomer puddin'"

      YOU, big sis Bef…have got to go

    • Jade Star

      I hate that shyt!

      I had that happen once. I calmly got up, got dressed and left. The entire time I didn't say a WORD.

  • YKM


    I'd be pissed as hell too LMMFAO

    however there's better ways to do it than beatin someone's @$$… tell him he's inadequate.


    It'll send him into an emotional coma for 3 years. Tell him he cant f#(k worth a d@mn and he'll have to go into therapy sucking his thumb.

    trust me.


    and I laughed my @$$ off.

    *eases on down the road*

    • MacDeezNuts

      That's all kinds of col' blooded, just try and jack up a dude for the next few years. He must have done some things right if you were willing to give him the draws in the first place right?
      <img src="; border="0" alt="Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App">

      • cakes_and_pies

        A man can do everything right to get the drawers, but once that drive shaft takes an abrupt left, there are no u-turns.

        • MacDeezNuts

          Ok, but do you have to destroy his heart and soul because he didn't knock the bottom out lol? Or is that treatment only for the dudes that brag first and don't perform

          • cakes_and_pies

            Only for those with big mouths, even then I won't crush his soul because he'll only date White women after me.
            If you recall I give parting gifts and fade into oblivion.

            • MacDeezNuts

              Oh yeah…with the cookies and everything.
              <— still trying to get on the list to qualify for the four course meals though *still doing push ups*

  • Damelo Suave

    I knew I'd get to use this:

    <img src=""&gt;

  • Damelo Suave

    This is why you need to have a proper tongue game…

    • Beffa

      umm no

      tongue is NEVER a replacement for good dack

      y'all can keep thinking that if you want to

      yea tongue is nice

      but I need a hard dick and bubble gum to make the night complete

    • cyndilyn71

      Y-A-A-A-S-S-S ! ! ! !

    • Lo – Kei

      Obviously this dude didn't get in touch with his inner self. I know shyt pop off all of a sudden… but if his dack game was like that.. he needed to go ahead a pull one out before he got with her.

      Hell Kat Williams did a whole show on that.

  • Damelo Suave

    So…no one is gonna mention her Vegeta-looking hairstyle? Or is that Eraserhead proper?

  • Unca_Ruckus

    I'll be the first to say, that there are many letters of apology I have to write to lovers past for my lack of sexual prowess when I was in my twenties. HOWEVER, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, have been accosted because of bad time management. LMBAO!

    • Omelette

      Nor I, but I did once fall asleep straight after; World War Three.
      Never did that again.

  • ohsoraw

    my adopted state is now officially an orphan