Twas the night before Christmas….OHN style.

You know what time it is, hookers…. it is time for the annual ( 5 years running) OHN Christmas eve poem. So…..heeeeeere we go.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through OHNtown
Were a bunch of fool-ass negroes. Crackers, messicans and other clowns.
With Bef wrapping her hair, whilst Hex wrapped up gifts
Folk was downloading titties, Lo checked for vaginas to sniff.
Lord Fubsy hung stockings by the chimney with care.
Lady Can’t was trying to be sexy but upon her boobies she grew hair.

Most Ohners should have been nestled all snug in their beds
But you know those lil bytches were off boolshyttin instead

Lurkasaurus on his Bass, Deebeer on her guitar
Twink, Yaya and 12 other latinos arrived all in one car.

Letinstar poured champagne, Retired heathen at the bar sink
Troy and PhenomBlack were escorted out for putting their dicks in people’s drinks

Bubblewrappe helped the dancers prepare to take the stage
Cakes andPies helped get rid of the tart bytches not of age

Chidiva and CHitownSista were kept under  surveillance
Because mufuggaz from Chicago ain’t nothing to play with.

Dj Fusion supplied the music as Jonesy sang tunes
Macdeez and Bsmuv eyed her booty  saying: “Soooon…”

Justme81 ,CaraQ and Marina danced like some fools
Tracy Trip was half nekkid giddy-upping on a gatdamn barstool

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
Made everyone look up wondering what was the matter.
Away to the window Zell flew in a flash
Whilst Choc sat and debated grabbing a piece of his ass.(likeahussy)

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Tee heee I said Breast… those are titties don’t ya know.




When what to our  wondering eyes did appear
But a funky-azz Sleigh and eight stankin-azz reindeer.

With Bubba as the driver all lively n quick
We had already knew he had done some ol shyt
“What the hale is all this?”Future RMC asked aloud
CHemcutie was picking wallets from the folks in the crowd
You might ask why such a lass would  steadily be thieving
But you’d understand quickly if he knew she was from Cleveland

Bubba explained that Santa wouldn’t come to this hood
So he and Lefty jacked the sleigh…. Just as a mufugga should.

Dwane T made us promise be thankful and show thanks
as always Cher’s titties were popping out being stank.

I looked to my left, and again to the right..making sure MDBrat was no where in sight.
Because last Christmas we all had a gas. Til his sweetlil gay self grabbed a handfull of ashy slaus ass.

Then Blu,Les and Toody grabbed the gift bags post haste
Alicia pdx , wonderboi and Rakiaa were fighting ThatDamnPaul in the face
Who knows what he did, this is OHN after all
rumour has it the imprint on the sugarcookies…were made from his balls.

DIvacee’s preggy azz -couldn’t move let alone assist them
Oo y’all remember: “The cars drive by with the booming system”.
That ish had nothing to do with this rhyme
But that shyt was the jam… used to bump it all the time.

Penitantangent reminded us  that stealing was wrong
Til she saw a Wii U in the bag then that heffa snatched it and got gone.

Caratime hushed us  all as we lined up for gifts
FandF. hautie and Tester cut to front like some  stankinazzhookermufuggaz n some shyt

Here Teerex, Here jeckford, Jadestar one for you.
Dillapickles,mznipzaintpink, ccdreamz  and curlyQ.
Another for Queensgirl. Debthewise, Brownriceboi
Here Stina enjoy this…nasty azz dual-action toy
007vida,NaturallyAngelic. Temujin1234
Lately25 don’t let Troy and Phenom back through the door.
WellversedMan,ThatdudeMcCain. Goliano, Latinsoul
Uepa, Librababy,  Omelette and Katt COll

Uncle RUckus you aint ish, but thanks all the same
Aunt DOnna VIrtual virgo.. come touch my booty, yo for real

Swfltransplant, Msvonnz and Boutnothin
PH2072, Nerdprincess That Chick is always up to something.
Trae ::MWAH::, Mrshta, Giazzysmiles and Leasea
MicchiDawn , Imagination1919, and DIvawidfevah
Phenodesignz, Kimlurksalot my homey the Fadematic
Pavlovscat’s pretty azz self,  SUgafree all tittastic
ZUly baby, Undeniable – congrats again on your marriage!
Fydbac and Joi. Let’s have art babies in a pimped-out damn carriage.
Mehtare gimme huggles! Scupcake1 and ohsoraw
Wildwhuck let’s watch BBC shows then plot a London bar crawl.
Fdot you aint shyt, what up MInista you aint shyt…
Let’s all build a fort between Twink’s massive tits.

AssasinP, Sasha89, Swanlyriks arletha98, chichi572

………..and even punk ass Damelosuave. I guess I love you to.

To the entire OHNiverse thanks for a world of cheer.

HappyHolidays n that sweet shyt….. and a slausy New Year…



:: if i forgot you it is only because you don’t have boobs. If i forgot you and you HAVE boobs… it’s because you won’t let me touch them.::


-Love, SLaus

When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.