You know what, Mother Nature!?? You know what, Momma Nay! You my dear bytch are a bytch.
Spiiiiiders are the most wretched thing of all things that are wretched. The appear out of nowhere and then they sit up high just taunting the hell out of you whilst they just wait for the opportunity to drop down upon a bytch in order to end their existence! They are an abomination and there is nothing worth a worth in a spiiider and all this time the one saving grace in life is that those little cretins are not airborne.
BUT NOW THIS!!!???
Spiders are flying?? Gliding?? Spiiiders are flyyying??? And if one of you hookers make light of this here awfulness I hope you get genital cancer under your left eyelid.
What’s that? You’re worried about a little snow falling on your head? How adorable.
Meanwhile, in Brazil, it’s raining spiders.
Footage posted online yesterday shows thousands of spiders “falling from the sky” in the southern Brazilian town of Santo Antônio da Platina.
“Still do not know what causes such behavior,” writes the video’s uploader. “We are researching and will post the answer to the question here.”
I know exactly what causes such behavior. A little something called the end of the world.
G1 spoke with a local biologist who identified the spider as Anelosimus eximius — a “social spider” species known for its massive colonies and “sheet webs.” He characterized the phenomenon as “normal,” which it most certainly is not.
Mother Nature whyyyyyyyyy!!!??? WHY would you DO this!!????
WHY would you make Brazil home of some of THE best asses in all of known universe, but then make it so that it rains spiiiiders from on high!!??
Because you’re a bytch, Momma Nay.
You’re the worst kind of heffa that ever did worst stuff.
Bytch you are the bringer of pain, suffering and horrors.
…and for this.. there is no excuse.
Sorry fellaz. The secret Brazillian booty-time adventure trip is cancelled!