It rains spiders in Brazil!!!?? Mother Nature!?? Dammit you are CHEATING!!!!

earth dies screaming 3

You know what, Mother Nature!?? You know what, Momma Nay! You my dear bytch are a bytch.

Spiiiiiders are the most wretched thing of all things that are wretched. The appear out of nowhere and then they sit up high just taunting the hell out of you whilst they just wait for the opportunity to drop down upon a bytch in order to end their existence!  They are an abomination and there is nothing worth a worth in a spiiider and all this time the one saving grace in life is that those little cretins are  not airborne.


Spiders are flying?? Gliding?? Spiiiders are flyyying???  And if one of you hookers make light of this here awfulness I hope you get genital cancer under your left eyelid.

[from gawker]

What’s that? You’re worried about a little snow falling on your head? How adorable.

Meanwhile, in Brazil, it’s raining spiders.

Footage posted online yesterday shows thousands of spiders “falling from the sky” in the southern Brazilian town of Santo Antônio da Platina.

“Still do not know what causes such behavior,” writes the video’s uploader. “We are researching and will post the answer to the question here.”

I know exactly what causes such behavior. A little something called the end of the world.

UPDATE: Brazilian news portal G1 reports that this footage was captured by 20-year-old web designer Erick Reis as he was leaving a friend’s engagement party this past Sunday.

G1 spoke with a local biologist who identified the spider as Anelosimus eximius — a “social spider” species known for its massive colonies and “sheet webs.” He characterized the phenomenon as “normal,” which it most certainly is not.

Mother Nature whyyyyyyyyy!!!??? WHY would you DO this!!????

WHY would you make Brazil home of some of THE best asses in all of known universe, but then make it so that it rains spiiiiders from on high!!??


Because you’re a bytch, Momma Nay.

You’re the worst kind of heffa that ever did worst stuff.

Bytch you are the bringer of pain, suffering and horrors.

…and for this.. there is no excuse.


Sorry fellaz. The secret Brazillian booty-time adventure trip is cancelled!



When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.

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