Dear OHN; ‘Why OHN Is The Most Important Website Known To Man. Ever.’

Why OHN Is The Most Important Website Known To Man. Ever.

By

The Gat Dam Lurkasaurus Rex

 

Hello.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I’m the Lurkasaurus Rex.

Nice to meet you.

Now that we’re friends, can I engage in a little “real talk” with you? Please don’t mind me if I occasionally slip into a ghetto patois, but some things can only be said in some ways, and some things simply lack that certain je ne sais quoi if they are said in any other manner.

Ya feel me?

(See, that was a test. I deliberately engaged in some non-grammatical hood rat slang, to see if it threw you off. Chances are, if you are still reading this, then you got it…even if I seem to be building a big-azz porch for a small-azz house and I just did it again. Bear with me.)

Why oh why is this particular site so important?

Because it has become a site and an intersection of voice.

(Black preacher voice): I don’t think y’all heard me.

See, any idiot can go to any (world)website(star) and just say whatever ol’ stereotype-confirming Bojanglish boolshyt and get love from the anonymous trolls.

On this site? This site right here? This site right here, n!gga? This site right here? (Thanks, Katt)

This site expresses the greatest of American truths: it celebrates freedom of speech, while practicing the fact that no one, not even the site’s owner and contributor, are free from the consequences of free speech.

In other words, just because you can say whatever because you are grown, does NOT mean that no one will call you on your boolshyt on OHN.

Because you will get called on it. Multiple times. With illustrations, if need be.

The OHN community is accepting of well-organized minds and well-thought opinions, even if those opinions might appear to run counter to what people think black folk should think. The OHN community is accepting of viewpoints from dam near anywhere.  Young, old, married, single, divorced, other, religious, agnostic, atheist, blasphemous, pagan, vegetarian, vegan, meat-atarian, pimpin’, square, gay, straight, black, white, beige, tall, short, thin, fat, ashy, lubricated, or cramped in a box with The Gimp, if you have a take, the OHN community will generally listen.

If you have a good take, you get the attaboys. If you are on some boolshyt, wellllllll…

As in Sparta, the OHN community makes everyone accountable for the words of their mouths…or, in this case, their keyboards. No half-steppin’, coonificence, or nignanigans are ever allowed because people have allowed that nonsense to perpetuate for far too long, and look where it has gotten us:

Miley Cyrus twerking.

See, while Dr. King might have had a dream, we have a reality. I personally know of one interracial couple that met on this site, from different nations, and got married. I have met several of the most aintshyt people that have ever walked the face of this earth. We got people ridin’ around with maracas in the whip. We got people diggin’ hobbit holes out in Oklamurica. We got Bef over there somewhere distributin’ azz-whuppin’s and hugs with equal enthusiasm. We got Folk creepin’ around in a hoodie with some skittles and tea muttering “I wish a n!gga would…” We got Hex secretly subverting black folk with that ol’ headache music.

We got tiddays.

anime_boobs_on_head

Great, big, please-let-me-hug-you-so’s-I-can-rub-up-on-them-tiddays tiddays.

You know who you are.

We was jagglin’ before anyone knew what a gat dam twerk was.

This is why OHN is the most important site in the history of everything. The OHN community truly lets anyone in the door, without exception. Understand that Facts and Examples will run up on you like them hard legs that ran up on 2Chainz and understand that you will get ganked just like he did if you ain’t ready to throw down with some real truth or a good-azz opinion. You got some genuine relationship advice? Trust me, there are people here that will LISTEN. You got something funny to say? Brang it…we loves the funny ‘round here. You like to walk around with doo-doo on ya head and you have a good take on the U.S./Syria thing? Sitcha doo-doo-head-havin-azz down and write something (while I’m thankin’ sweet baby Jeebus that they ain’t invented Smell-O-Vision yet, ya doo-doo-head-havin’ bastid…).

To OHN, I sez Happy Anniversary, and may the aintshytness float…float on….float on, float on…

Ya Boy In Korea,

The Gat Dam Lurkasaurus Rex

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