Cardio Squat machine should just be called the: ‘Dat Ass 4000.

I want to explain to you something about my new best friend and ohnawlian: Brad.
I have never met Brad. I do not know Brad. Normally I wouldn’t trust a Black person NAMED Brad, but Brad sent in this video. Because of everything I saw in this video….the..2:22 of assolute glory that it is….Brad is now my most favouritest person in all of history.

Apparently this machine is a thing…..and what a glorious thing it is because….it helps shapes that ass in ways ┬áthat…just…Just watch this video.

That white woman had ASS. Not booty. But ASS. This machine is about to single handedly tip the balance of ass power in these streets. Black and Latinas are going to go to 24 hour fitness centers across the country to destroy ass destroy these damn things before white and asian girls start walking around here with Serena WIlliams donks. Donkey donks. Just…. booty ass booty.

Science is a wonderful wonderful thing…..

Gonna go watch this video a few more times… let me get some more red bull and a new sock first.


When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.

Facebook Comments