Relationship talk: Cheating a sign of insecurity?

cheating couple

Yesterday I was scanning my facebook newsfeed and saw one of my dearest homies post this question:

Cheating a sign of insecurity? Agree or Disagree?

Y’all know he got a gang of comments as of last look he had over 90 comments on this topic.

So of course I had to steal it for OHN.

Here are just a few of the comments:

Insecurity? Possibly. I think it’s more a sign of poor character and lack of integrity.

Disagree, I believe it is lack of maturity and selfishness…

Cheating is not about insecurity. It is about perception, expectations, and communication. Someone perceives they aren’t getting something from a relationship. That person has expectations that are 1) not realistic or 2) they haven’t shared with their mate. Because the cheater doesn’t communicate his/her expectations, etc. to the mate, cheater uses the excuse they aren’t getting what they need from mate.

Cheating = selfishness. Point blank period!

It’s a choice. Doesn’t matter the reason, ultimately it’s up to the person to act on it or not.

So what do you think OHN. Is cheating a sign of insecurity?

Bethlanai
Apparently it is Beth's Job to get on Slaus's nerves.

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  • Chocl8t
  • JustSlaus

    I don’t see how it’s even debatable that it’s ALL of those things…..

    • ThatDamnPaul

      Basically.

  • cake_and_pies

    Sometimes people cheat to make sure they “still still got it” and being in a relationship feels like they’re being put out to pasture or going to the glue factory.
    A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but sometimes you just want to see if you can still get your hand in the bush…fvck the two birds…

    • Beffa

      that was the exact thing I said on the post yesterday.

  • mrsrony

    sex, love, monogamy isn’t as intertwined for some.

  • imagination1919

    I think its also a sign of a void in the relationship. There is something “missing” from the relationship that the the cheater hopes to find elsewhere.

    • JustSlaus

      I know of one woman who cheated because her husband was too nice and gentle in bed. In her words: ” She needed to be whore f*cked every now and then.” but her husband wouldn’t do it.

      So…. she found it elsewhere.

      • ToodySezHey

        its really that simple. when you arent getting what you want from home……you roam.

        I remember reading a relationship thread on a message board. This chick was in her mid 20’s and was married to man in his early 50’s. She loved him to death, had no intention of divorcing him…but he had absolutely no interest in sex and her, being a healthy woman in her 20’s, she had a werewhore vagina.

        she begged the husband to let them have an open marriage, 3 somes, anything, but he refused. she didnt want to cheat on him, but…….

  • Omelette!

    Cheating comes from greed and narcissism.
    Some insecurity would be nice!

  • Troy Frazier

    Cheating is a sign of loving pussy…or being a whore, depending on who’s doing the cheating.

  • vanessa197676

    Depends on the man. I dated a guy once, years and years ago, who I found out had to have multiple women on deck. I think, in his case, it was due to insecurity. He wasn’t the best-looking guy, and was teased a lot growing up. So, once he got older, he seemed to learn all the games (and faces) needed to pull women. He seemed nice, attentive, respectable, etc. I even would hang out with him and his parents. I found out that he was being just as nice and attentive to other women, finding them on Black Planet and getting them to travel to meet him. Which is why is sucked at his sales job, he had no time to actually work. He seemed to need their attention to feel good about himself.

  • DameloSuave

    Could be insecurity sometimes, but most likely selfishness and immaturity.

  • CaraQ

    It’s complex, but it is a selfish act. Some people do communicate the issue, but instead of leaving (whatever the reason) they take the cowardly way out,

    I can’t judge because I’m not in these people’s shoes, but I do know that sometimes, there’s more going on.