Dear OHN – My Sister doesn’t want ex she dumped to attend family funeral because he looks too good now.

blog_img_Dear_ohn

Dear OHN,

If Slaus posted the title I asked him to post than believe your eyes and understand that you read it correctly. My sister is so damn petty that she is pitching a fit because the family invited (ex boyfriend’s name) to our father’s funeral and she doesn’t want him there.  Before i go all out then all in, I should give you some background on the whole situation.

My sister, ( guy’s name), myself and many of the other neighborhood kids grew up with each other and our families have always been very close. We took trips together, stayed at each other’s homes,  volunteered together and spent so much time with one another that all of our parents were the parents of each and every one of us whether related by blood or not.  My sister and  ( guy’s name) started going out together at 20 years old only for my sister to dump him a year later for someone more ” in her league”. She said that  ( guy’s name) was overweight and dorky so she ended up with a guy who was very popular in our school, and a ball player at the local big Ten university. To say the least,  ( guy’s name) was heart broken and destroyed but because we all grew up together and were all very close, of course he remained a member of our extended family.  Eventually  (guy’s name) parents moved  away and he moved to go to school in Hawaii where he remained for the last 10 years. He stayed in touch and called during holidays from time to time but eventually his calls became less frequent to the point we heard from  ( guy’s name) maybe once a year. That once a year he always called our Father on his birthday.

Last week our father lost his battle with cancer and we prepared to bury him. All of the old friends and family were contacted but I was unsure that  ( guy’s name) would get the message of what had happened. Then the other night he called very upset because he had finally gotten the news and we cried together on the phone and talked for a few hours.  ( guy’s name) bought a ticket and said he would be here for the funeral and would stay to help the family in anyway he could.  He sent us a text with a photo of himself because he said we may not recognize him anymore and he was right. He lost all of that weight and he just seemed so vibrant and full of life.  My sister of course got the text. She called me not an hour after we got the text and told me that she didn’t want  ( guy’s name) at the funeral and that we should keep it a family affair.  Which is odd considering everyone and their mother, literally, was coming to the funeral including all of the old friends we grew up with. But  ( guy’s name) in particular she didn’t want to see. Then she said if he DID show up, she was going to have her own private memorial and remembrance without the rest of us.

I was floored.

I talked to our other sister about it the next day where she revealed that the reason Little Ms Petty-ass didn’t want  ( guy’s name) to be there was because he looked amazing now and had a great life but she didn’t look as good as she did years ago and that her life took a turn for less after she dated Mr Sexy Ball player who I might add, got her pregnant then moved overseas to play ball in Europe and doesn’t spend anytime with my niece and nephew but instead has a beautiful family in Italy he started after he left my sister.

Basically the bitch wants to avoid not only feeling guilty, but having to see the guy who she probably should have stayed with in the first place but instead she kicked to the curb because he wasn’t in her physical “league”. Our older sister and I are trying to handle it without involving our mother because as you can imagine she is suffering from having lost my father. Thing is though is that  ( guy’s name) was like another son to my dad. The son he always wanted to have but was instead blessed with three outspoken girly girls. Our older sister is saying it may be for the best to uninvite  (guy’s name) but I just can not go along with that. The only person  ( guy’s name) was sure to keep in contact with over the years WAS our father so why shouldn’t he get to be there and pay his respects this weekend!

I don’t know what to do.

 

 

Slaus
When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.
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  • Karl Kdsmooth Day

    if this dude didnt have a long standing relationship with your fam & your father I would normally say NO to EX’s comming to funerals, but in this case you need to slap your sister 3 times on her bullish! in fact, I would buy the dudes ticket myself to make sure he was there!

  • Saitek

    That funeral isn’t about her its about her/your father. Im sure she is all up in her feelings about her decision in the past but tables turn, that’s life. She gotta put them big girl panties on for the sake of her fathers memory, if for no other reason.

    But being mad at dude because her life didn’t turn out as planned is indeed petty. Your sister made her decisions now she has to live with them.

  • Baegatha Christie

    Your sister is Spongebob Pettypants.

    Let that man come to your father’s funeral as he loved your father enough to stay in touch with him as the son he always wanted. This isn’t about your sister. This is about celebrating your father’s life…which includes this man as his “son”. Tell your sister she made her bed and now she has to lay in it and deal. Fuck her.

    Back then, they didn’t want me. Now I’m hot, they all on me – Mike Jones.

  • Djodeci Unsanged

    If dude would have stayed with that evil sista he wouldn’t look amazing at all, he’d look like she sounds trying to convince people to block him from the funeral, piss-poor miserable.

  • BSmuv

    Mane fug yo petty ass sister. Let that heffa stew in her own Karma Soup. Let her feel not only the pain deep emotional pain that comes from the loss of her dad, but an extra heaping helping of *That’s what the fugg you get for being such a shallow whore in the first place and now look at the two constant reminders of your bad choices tramp*. I hope he shows up and is a grecian god in stature, and has two AMEX Blackcards in his wallet to boot when he shows up in a $1500 custom made suit complete with cuff links and booster.

  • Omelette!

    Ignore her. Invite him. Don’t analyse too deeply. If she’s always held the family to ransom with her tantrums then this is just more of the same, if not, then grief does strange things to people and manifests itself in strange ways, this may be a distraction she’s fixating on to compensate for her feelings; it may be a little of both. Tell her what you told us (if you need to), and keep things moving for all of you.

  • http://diashoni.tumblr.com DiaShoni

    I’d tell your sister to go be petty somewhere the fugg else.

  • Beffa

    I really hate this petty ass bitch! I’ve lost both my parents and let me tell you the comfort I felt when I saw friends from years ago coming to pay their last respects to my mom at her service. There were people there who I didn’t have that great of a relationship with at the time but they showed up anyway and we all hugged and cried and honored the great woman that is my mother.

    This bitch is being hella disrespectful to her now dead father.

    Fuck this bitch!

    I’m sorry this angers me greatly.

    I just can’t understand how this stupid, hoe ass, trick ass bitch ass heffa is worried about how she looks when her daddy is dead in a casket!

    As for the sisters that have sense. Honestly, fuck their sister but I understand that’s blood. I would tell the dude (that’s kind of petty but ask me do I care). I would tell the dude and let him decide if he wants to go to the funeral. I hate that this petty trollop is doing this I really do. And her strumpet ass will regret it years later.

    • http://diashoni.tumblr.com DiaShoni

      Exactly.

    • notconvincedgranny

      Tell ‘em bout it. When my mom and dad passed, exes I didn’t know I had showed up. It wasn’t about me; it was because my mother and father were comforting influences in their lives. Sometimes I would stop in to see the parents and one of them would already be there! We could kick it because we had my folks in common, and I was so happy to see everyone come to salute them. If ever there was a time to drop an overreaching sense of self, this would be it.

  • CaraQ

    It isn’t about her, it’s about your father and those that loved him. Also, she is willing to hurt your mother over her pride, which is also selfish, because I’m sure she will need ALL the support she can get at this time.

    This is not the time to be thinking about anything else but your father and celebrating his life with those who loved him. And, clearly, this man loved your father and was loved in return.

    This isn’t about her and her feelings–fugg her emotions.

  • Unckle_Ruckus

    Go outside, find a fairly sized rock, give to your sister and suggest that she go kick it. It isn’t, and will never be about her. It’s about a man that was obviously cared for by many.

  • Leo the Yardie Chick

    From the sound of it, he could have cut off all contact with the family after that traumatic break-up with the sister. He could have, but he moved past that hurt and maintained a relationship with the father.

    If he could do that for over a decade, then she can more than deal for a few hours.

  • JustMe81

    Ignore your sister and her petty-ass feelings, don’t un-invite ole boy–he’s done nothing wrong. Just concentrate on remembering your father. My condolences to you and your family for your loss.

  • marina

    First things first, I’m sorry for your loss and you and your family are in my prayers.

    To the matter at hand, I have a rule where I don’t speak about other people’s family and friends to them, so I’ll be nice and say let her have her own “remembrance” service. There is absolutely no damn reason why he can’t come and ain’t got shit to do with her karma. Don’t even use another brain cell to think about it, let him come as he has a privilege to.

  • http://www.judychartrand.com creegal

    Wow…if it was me, I’d ignore the sister…but then again…I do anyways because they are made from the same cloth as the one in this story.

  • http://fydbac.daportfolio.com/ fydbac

    My condolences to your loss.

    I’m pretty much with everyone here: And I wish we were in the same room so I could say this in person but: Not only is your sister petty, but she sounds like a basic bitch to boot. Funerals are about everyone who loved the deceased, coming together to celebrate the life of who passed, or mourn their collective loss.

    Considering the love he had for your father, it would be heartbreaking to NOT have him there.

    Also, I wouldn’t tell him about your sisters bs before or during the funeral. May put unnecessary thoughts in his head while there. Wait till after the day of the funeral if you wish to tell him. Then you could laugh about it or something.

  • Neckbonekat

    Who get invited to a funeral? I always thought you let people know and they made their own decisions. If he comes and your sister acts petty, let her. That’s on her, but don’t take away another man’s healing process because your sister can’t get past the past.

  • msjess

    This isn’t about her. It’s about your father’s death and she needs to remember that. She needs to suck it up, get over herself, and deal with it. Invite him because he’s paying his respects to your father and not her.

    And while he’s there he’ll be singing, “You must regret the day that you left me.”

  • DameloSuave

    I’m sorry for your loss. Let him come, and tell your sister to eat a hot steaming bowl of dacks if she has a problem. Remind her that your father loved this young man, and he took time to stay in contact with him all these years, despite Petty McBytch (your sister). If your sister decides to have her own private memorial, then that’s on her – her loss. Chalk it up to the game…and make sure your other sister keeps her big-girl panties on and doesn’t cave to this blatant manipulation.

  • LadyCant

    Tell your sister to put a straightening come through her head, get her makeup done for free at the MAC counter, put on some Spanx and SUCK IT UP.

    Childish ass. I hope she gets over herself and her guilt (she knew she did him dirty but his phoenix game was TOIGHT) so you can remember your father the way he should be remembered….without all of that petty nonsense. *hugs* Condolences to you and your family………even your ridiculous ass sister.

    • DB Ruberto

      Tell your sister to put a straightening come through her head, get her makeup done for free at the MAC counter, put on some Spanx and SUCK IT UP.

      You need to come with a NSFW label sometimes…choking on my laughter..

  • wildwhuck

    I’d tell her to get over herself and if she doesn’t get she ish together, I’d threatened to tell Mama. Yeah I’m the baby of my family, I’m not above snitching on my sisters. lol

  • http://www.fitandhealthytoo.bodybyvi.com/ Bubba_Renaldo_Garcia_Rodriguez

    Man Karma….I tell people. Let her run her course. She was an azzhat to him on some petty ish, and now it’s come back to bite her. But she picks the MOST fugged up time to be concerned about that. It’s a funeral. I don’t care if it’s someone I hate, if they come pay genuine respects to a love one of mine, it says a lot to me. She is just going to have to get over it. And if she is more concerned about how he looks now, more than her own father passing, she has way more issues than you all know about and I feel sorry for her simple ass…ok not really.

  • http://dontshootmessenger.blogspot.com/ JediReturns

    At this point, more than your father, this funeral is about your mother. If the ex was legitimately that close to your father, your mother needs to see him. This is even more true if he is close to your mother. She will need him to call her on your fathers birthday because she will need that continuity. Don’t let your sister rob your mother of the valued link to your fathers memory. Don’t tell your mother about the conflict, just ask would she like him there, and make your decision based on that.

  • HaStyle

    Sorry for your loss, and I’m deeply saddened that you have to deal with this added stress.

    With that said everyone seems to be concerned largely with you and your family which is the right reaction to have initially. However if he was like a son to your father and loved your father he has every right to come and mourn your father’s life among family and friends. He is probably hurting as well. The first thing he did was call you and cry with you and that wasn’t probably just for you he probably needed a shoulder to cry on as well.

    I might be wrong, but I think his feelings as a member of the extended family should be considered.

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