Stop acting like a punk and agree to ride the Veruckkt with me.


Now in the past I have commented on some things mayhap once, twice or thrice that may have left you with the belief that I am something of a scaredy-cat bytch ass bytch. Well let it be known that such a belief is not without some truth with facts and examples because 9 times out of 10 if it involves Australia, rodents, spiders, larval creatures or any drink made with Jaigermesiter, Slaus goes through a startling metamorphosis and becomes a bytch. I admit it.


But but…. The Verruckt? This is some shyt I would do without question….even though my punk ass punk-ass has said NOPE when asked in the past.

Look at this shyt…

Kansas City’s Schlitterbahn water park has been testing a massive 17-story water slide with heavy sandbag for months, and now the 168-foot Verrückt is finally ready for human test subjects. And of course, they took the plunge with cameras on, so you can pee yourself vicariously from the comfort of your home.

Verrückt, German for something like “go insane,” was originally supposed to open for the media on Memorial Day weekend, but test rafts hit some glitches that stopped them just before the ride’s largest drop—about 50 feet.

There were also rumors that entire rafts full of sandbags were tossed into the air at the end of the ride—which turned out to be true, making the whole thing even more terrifying. source

Now to be fair ass fair here, while I am quite sure riding this thing is every bit as epic as the video leads us to believe but… you can make even the most mundane activity look awesome as FUCK if you play Awol Nation’s SAIL whilst doing it.  DOn’t believe me? Click play again, look away from the screen and then just watch some ol random shyt go down around you. That bytch, Janice who just walked down the hallway to talk to Kevin instead of doing her fuck-ass work? That shyt looked amazing whilst listening to SAIL didn’t it.  You can sharpen a mufuggin pencil as folks walk by and if you’re playing that song, your pencil sharpening is going to look like you are preparing mufuggin Excalibur on an enchanted Black Smith’s table.

Still…even without the music, I’m sure this shyt is the shyt.

But too many of you hookers are acting like you are too fuck-ass to ride it with me.

TRUE it was rumoured that the raft went airborne more than a few times in early testing to which the park gave comment that those were rumours were false only to find out that yeah…. the shit DID leave the track once or twice in the beginning but…. but.. still..

ok ok ok… if this video is accurate, that would in fact be some fucked-up ass shyt. buuut buuuuuut.. on the flipside ..on the flipside… you weren’t trying to live like forever ever were you? well alright then.

who is gonna ride it with me??

……no one?

…. fugg yall.

Watch my fat ass get on there and the shyt ends up like this..

When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.

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  1. Lo Kei says

    Like I said on FB.. I would do this shyt in half a heart beat! No hesitation what so ever…!

    • JustSlaus says

      Bro, i am seriously thinking about getting a group of folks together to go ride this damn thing when it opens. sounds like a hilarious roadtrip weekend….

  2. ThatDamnPaul says

    The only thing that MIGHT keep me from taking that plunge is the seemingly endless stairs to get to the top.

  3. SY says

    Nope… I had an anxiety attack sitting in the chair here at work. Nope… ION care call me chicken NOPE NOPE NOPE NOEP NOPE NOPE

  4. says

    On another note, that flying raft reminds me of when I used to play the first RollerCoaster Tycoon!! Dead riders and small explosions every where!! I’d still ride this though.

  5. notconvincedgranny says

    Locked, loaded and ready to ride! And will climb like an ant on crack over slow asses to get back to the top.

  6. HappyStina says

    Slaus you should check out the videos on the Intimidator 305 at Kings Dominion in Doswell Virginia! I have ridden that thing about ten times and it still scares the crap out of me! The first time I rode it I was in the front. I have never done that again!

  7. Omelette! says

    On reflection, I’m not going to any “water park” designed by Germans. IJS