Now in the past I have commented on some things mayhap once, twice or thrice that may have left you with the belief that I am something of a scaredy-cat bytch ass bytch. Well let it be known that such a belief is not without some truth with facts and examples because 9 times out of 10 if it involves Australia, rodents, spiders, larval creatures or any drink made with Jaigermesiter, Slaus goes through a startling metamorphosis and becomes a bytch. I admit it.
But but…. The Verruckt? This is some shyt I would do without question….even though my punk ass punk-ass has said NOPE when asked in the past.
Look at this shyt…
Kansas City’s Schlitterbahn water park has been testing a massive 17-story water slide with heavy sandbag for months, and now the 168-foot Verrückt is finally ready for human test subjects. And of course, they took the plunge with cameras on, so you can pee yourself vicariously from the comfort of your home.
Verrückt, German for something like “go insane,” was originally supposed to open for the media on Memorial Day weekend, but test rafts hit some glitches that stopped them just before the ride’s largest drop—about 50 feet.
Now to be fair ass fair here, while I am quite sure riding this thing is every bit as epic as the video leads us to believe but… you can make even the most mundane activity look awesome as FUCK if you play Awol Nation’s SAIL whilst doing it. DOn’t believe me? Click play again, look away from the screen and then just watch some ol random shyt go down around you. That bytch, Janice who just walked down the hallway to talk to Kevin instead of doing her fuck-ass work? That shyt looked amazing whilst listening to SAIL didn’t it. You can sharpen a mufuggin pencil as folks walk by and if you’re playing that song, your pencil sharpening is going to look like you are preparing mufuggin Excalibur on an enchanted Black Smith’s table.
Still…even without the music, I’m sure this shyt is the shyt.
But too many of you hookers are acting like you are too fuck-ass to ride it with me.
TRUE it was rumoured that the raft went airborne more than a few times in early testing to which the park gave comment that those were rumours were false only to find out that yeah…. the shit DID leave the track once or twice in the beginning but…. but.. still..
ok ok ok… if this video is accurate, that would in fact be some fucked-up ass shyt. buuut buuuuuut.. on the flipside ..on the flipside… you weren’t trying to live like forever ever were you? well alright then.
who is gonna ride it with me??
…. fugg yall.
Watch my fat ass get on there and the shyt ends up like this..