Stop posing people after they are dead ass dead, please.

....bruh.When I first thought of this post I was going to approach it as: “Dear Brown people, stop posing your relatives after death.” But then I remembered that actually this is a tradition that goes back to the first days of the camera. It was quite common for people to be photographed with their deceased children for one (shudders) as well as other close relatives. So this is not at all anything new and in some cultures it has a deep meaning.

But i’m not a member of ANY of those cultures soooooooo I”M about to be judgmental and ignant ass ignant!!!

Yaaaay_ani

Heeeere we go!

dead_ass_puerto_rican_green_lantern

An eccentric South American man known for his Green Lantern costume ended up wearing it even when he was dead, after being embalmed and dressed in the outfit to welcome guests to his own funeral.

Renato Garcia, 55, had found the costume in a box next to be a bin in the city of San Juan, in the north-eastern Puerto Rico and was known for wearing it around his local area. When he died last week after suffering a severe asthma attack, his family decided it was appropriate that he was also buried in it. So after he was embalmed, his body was then propped up in the corner of the hall where the funeral took place under the instructions of his sister Milagros Garcia, 51, who said: ‘It is what he would have wanted.’ [source]

THIS is the line that messed me up….

“…his family decided it was appropriate that he was also buried in it”

NO IT GATDAMN WELL WASN’T APPROPRIATE!

Man it wasn’t even appropriate to wear around town for errands, fool! Let alone this boolshyt.

Now I’m not one to speak ill of the dead but…but…this muhfuh walking to the post office as the damn Green Lantern, son! GREEN….LANTERN.  And I know it wasn’t as if he was hurting anyone or anything but that isn’t the point. There is a time and place for everything and traipsing ass traipsing about in a damn Green Lantern costume is appropriate at Comic-con, Costume Party, freaky time in the bedroom and children’s parties. Preferably not freaky time at children’s parties either ya nasty bytches.  If I said right now that I’m about to go to the store for some kale, quinoa and green apple Nowwwnlaters ( Now n Laters candies,ho) and you saw me get in the car whilst dressed as a damn Dalek from DR WHO, I give any of you permission to run out there and slash my tires and fight me in the face.  Can’t have a Slaus driving around town looking like:

dr-who-dalek-talking-clock-l2

“Baby i’m just about to go to the store right quick. You want some funyons?”

Bruh… they got his lil narrow ass in the corner like the most fuck-ass lamp ever imaginable!!

dead_ass_green_lantern

Man you see the kid’s just standing there at a safe distance just in case some shyt pop off! Look at lil Alejandro’s face!!! You can visibly SEE the NOPE in his eyes.

 And you know the other kids are talking shyt and daring him to go stand next to the body like:

green-lantern-wake-2

Kid: ” Hey n*gga Hey. I bet you won’t go touch Mr Garcia’s belt.”
Kid 2: ” I bet you’re right, ol hook head fool.”

JUST because our relatives loved certain things whilst they were amongst the living does not mean we need to feature them doing that same ish in death.  Man I love the shyt out of Grilling, Dungeons n Dragons, Anime and Sci-fi but if y’all EVER hear about my next of kin wanting to pose me up at one of my BBQ Grills dressed up as a dead ass dead Voltron, I want you to fly a plane into their faces. Everyone who had anything to do with that decision, I want you to fight them.

All in their face like this:
lucy_punch_by_zombiegirl01-d4isxbn

To be fair to Mr Garcia’s friends and family, it isn’t like they are the only recent mofos to have done this. Look at this shyt here…

Georgina Chervony Lloren
HOW the fugg are you gonna pose Meemaw like this! I don’t care if this was her favorite thing to do, son!! This shyt is savage! They got her damn face looking unfortunate as fugg! If this poor woman wasn’t already dead I would swear she was saying: “kill..me…and don’t let them pose me in my chair after I’m gone..”

 dead_ass_dead_on_a_bike
Sure it’s a really nice bike and sure…I bet he was a BEAST on that thing and he loved it like no other thing or experience could be loved. But no. Then again..this is kind of majestic…I can’t lie. But this next boolshyt….

dead_ass_dead_pimp
This is really how y’all are gonna do Cat Daddy n’nem?  Realy?? Man.

dead_ass_dead_at_the_table
They..posed..this..damn..woman..with a glass of whack-ass beer, an ash tray and a box of new ports!???  And got the nerve to have her looking like a mufuggin SLeestak from the Land Of The Lost!???

sleestak
YALL PLAY TOO DAMN MUCH!!! She didn’t deserve this. EVERYTHING about this is unacceptable!!

Puerto Rico Standing Wake
ok but…as far as production values go? This is pretty damn impressive.  But this last one.. still takes the cake..

Dead_ass_dead_int_the_corner

Bruh….. just stacked lil Joker up in the corner behind the piano??  Where is the love…..

prince

Slaus
When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.

Comments

    • Niki says

      I’m simply baffled that people do this ish to their people! This was the funniest read EVER!!!! LOVE IT!!!

  1. Lady T says

    1. Sooooooooooooooooooo happy to see the blog back :)

    2. When you compared that heffa to Sleestak, I bout died!……lmao