Busting a nut in my coffee and living is what you’re not gonna do. bruh.

All week I have been thinking of something thought provoking for us to discuss this friday. Something that could be a preverbial meeting of the minds if you will. I had the whole idea worked out but then….. I heard about a bytch busting nuts in coffee and living to tell the tale.

That+stupid+everyone+knows+you+mix+semen+with+coffee+_1fc90683c8acfe3054a6d4d9a8b6961fA man has been cleared of sexual assault charges after admitting he ejaculated into a female co-worker’s coffee cup. (Cleared…of sexual assault…charges. Should he have hit her all in the forehead with his penis first??)

John Robert Lind was originally charged with sexual assault, but a loophole in Minnesota law doesn’t categorize his behavior as a sex crime, a judge ruled. (Man the law betta recognize! Dude jizzed in her coffee, man! He shot cock snot…in her coffee!!) 

The victim, Pat Maahs, says she is fighting the ruling and hopes to close the loophole, which would require Lind to register as a sex offender.

According to Maahs, she and Lind worked together for 14 years at Beisswengers hardware store in New Brighton, Minnesota.  Over the past six months, she noticed her coffee tasted funny. (ok..I laughed.) According to Maahs, she caught her co-worker at her desk and noticed a puddle of fluid.  That’s when she realized what had been going on.

“Lind said that he likes [the victim] and is attracted to her,” court documents state. “Lind admitted that he ejaculated on [the victim’s] desk and in her coffee on August 26, 2014.”

When investigators questioned Lind about the incident, he admitted to ejaculating in the woman’s coffee twice.  He also admitted to ejaculating on her desk and belongings on other occasions, police said.

“When asked why he did this, Lind said he thought it was a way to get [the victim] to notice him,” the court documents state.[source]

BRUH!!!

man-ejaculates-in-coworkers-coffee

When investigators questioned Lind about the incident, he admitted to ejaculating in the woman’s coffee twice.  He also admitted to ejaculating on her desk and belongings on other occasions, police said. 

2015-Cadillac-ELR-Coupe-Background-WallpaperMULTIPLE TIMES!!! WHO goes around just..just jizzing on ish!!  What a really messed up way to run around marking territory on ish that isn’t even YOURS!  This would be like me going to the cadillac dealership, walking up to the ELR coupe, because it is by far the most beautiful thing on the road in my opinion, and then going over to the handle of the car and just…just wiping my penis on the handle. Why? Because It’s gonna be mine. Eventually.  Or.. because I just like it.  Because that’s pretty much what the hell he did. Can you imagine people just randomly putting their genital secretions on random ish or persons that they like?

Costco would be the most disgusting experience ever. Ever day would just be… be… ugh bytch ugh.

Let me tell you this though. You walk over to my damn cup of pumpkin spice coffee and you put ANYTHING in it that came from your body? Especially your genitals?

On every thing I love, there won’t even be a trial.

I sweatergod!!!

I’m socking you through your face.

Not sexual assault.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

::stabbing motion::

Slaus
When not responding to the dictate:" Will the Defendant Please Rise.." CEO and Creator of OHN;Slaus, is a comic illustrator and Social Media whore who spends his free time building legos, playing video games, drawing fantasy characters and being abused by his wife, two sons and cat.

Comments

  1. The Lurkasaurus Rex says

    If someone called the cops on me for beatin’ this n!gga’s azz, and if it took the cops 45 minutes to get there, guess what I’ll be doing?

    STILL whuppin’ that n!gga’s azz.