I love practical jokes. I love a good practical joke as much as the next person who doesn't have any gatdamn good sense. You know...good jokes like jumping out from the dark yelling: BOo nigga boo! Letting the air out of someone's tires so they end up sleeping over and you end up having sex which was easier to do than just asking for sex. Or when you tell a guy it's his baby, collect child support like a slag ass slag then he finds out 20 years later: Psyche! Ya know.. jokes all in good fun. But this shyt right here? This is how friends become victims of a most horrible misunderstanding. In what’s got to be the worst makeover ever, Mark Longley from Crawley in Surrey, spent his bachelor party (also known as, stag do or buck’s night) with pubic hair literally glued to his face. Photos uploaded to Facebook by best man Steve West explain that the ~pube beard~ was made possible thanks to donations from Mark’s best friends. In addition to the man-made mask, Mark wore clown-shoes, was taped to a wheelchair, and was decorated with permanent marker. He was also given a cabbage “best friend” to hold on to at all times. source Let me just say [...]
ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. —A family of four had a rude awakening Friday morning when the homeowner's ex broke in and defecated on several of the family's belongings, according to the Orange County Sheriff's Office. (Translation: THIS negro shit on em,son!!! He literally shit.ass.shit on them!) The victim was asleep at first, but at least one of the three children inside the home allegedly witnessed Michael Anthony Johnson, 27, of Apopka, break into the home and defecate on things, deputies said. (Translation: THEN one of the gatdamn babies woke up and witnessed this cretin doing the damn dookey all over the house! The baby woke up like Cindy Loo Who in the Grinch Stole Christmas n shyt! Oh the humanity, people!!) "The Fuck is he DOING?" Johnson is accused of defecating on the victim's bed sheets, a glass kitchen plate, a wallet and a dresser. (.......... this negroe shit on a plate. A damn Plate. THIS FOOL SHAT ON A PLATE!!! Who shyts on a plate!!?? It's one thing to shyt all over the house but.... shitting on a PLATE!??? That's just disrespectful as hale. Bruh.. you're a savage. That's the kind of ish you do when the devil is on your shoulder telling you to do things unhindered by the interfering [...]
All week I have been thinking of something thought provoking for us to discuss this friday. Something that could be a preverbial meeting of the minds if you will. I had the whole idea worked out but then..... I heard about a bytch busting nuts in coffee and living to tell the tale. A man has been cleared of sexual assault charges after admitting he ejaculated into a female co-worker's coffee cup. (Cleared...of sexual assault...charges. Should he have hit her all in the forehead with his penis first??) John Robert Lind was originally charged with sexual assault, but a loophole in Minnesota law doesn't categorize his behavior as a sex crime, a judge ruled. (Man the law betta recognize! Dude jizzed in her coffee, man! He shot cock snot...in her coffee!!) The victim, Pat Maahs, says she is fighting the ruling and hopes to close the loophole, which would require Lind to register as a sex offender. According to Maahs, she and Lind worked together for 14 years at Beisswengers hardware store in New Brighton, Minnesota. Over the past six months, she noticed her coffee tasted funny. (ok..I laughed.) According to Maahs, she caught her co-worker at her desk and noticed a puddle of fluid. That's when she realized what had been [...]
Don't say I didn't warn you I give you Angelo in all of his Delusions of Grandeur For some reason he disabled embedding on his "official" video for his first single but here is the link. Yes this fool has a single out on iTunes.
Ok to be fair they don't have to be enemies. They can be friends, family, countrymen whomever. Anyone whom you would like to anonymously receive a bag of dicks can now have just that happen. Dicks. All kinds of just..just dick. According to the company’s website, Dicks by Mail offers a service whereby you can send some edible dicks to “anyone in your life that deserves [a] feeling of sadness, disappointment and betrayal.” It goes on: “In only a few minutes you can send a literal Bag of Dicks to that special asshole in your life. You know the one. The annoying guy at the office. Your Ex who decided to see other people before telling you. The Teacher that doesn't care about your dead grandma. The person that murdered your grandma.” [source] Man I wish I had taken advantage of the dickatry before doing this post because I would have sent Bef and Ambz as much dick as dicks by mail could ship at once. I'd pay extra to have the dicks delivered whilst a singing telegram guy does a song and dance about the ish. "How many dicks could a Slausbytch ship, if a Slausbytch could ship dicks. " Why? Just because. Because I can. And because we live in a [...]