2015 Posts

/2015 Posts

These spiders cause either death or 4 hour erections.

A BRISTOL mum has revealed her shock after she found a bag of bananas her husband had bought from Tesco were infested with spiders - which are known to give men erections. Maria Layton, 43, mum of Siri, aged six and Phoebe aged three, made the frightening discovery after opening the bag of bananas bought from Tesco. The Tesco bananas were exported from Costa Rica - home of the world's most dangerous spider - the Brazilian Wandering Spider aka Banana Spiders whose Greek name means "murderess". They are aggressive and venomous spiders which can lead to death and serious injury - including a painful four-hour erection. [source] Bruh... let's back some ish up right now. Bruh. - the Brazilian Wandering Spider aka Banana Spiders whose Greek name means "murderess". The Greek name on record for this spider leaves NOTHING to be misinterpreted or misconstrued. The official name of this damn spider is The Murderess. What more do you need to KNOW, planet Earth?!! There are spiders out there with names like "that which will fuck you up" and "The spotted you gone die, bitch". F everything about this spider. And then that awful ass awful bytch: mother nature, decides to give this thing a side effect that would make a fool debate [...]

By |2015-03-12T22:19:09-05:00March 13th, 2015|2015 Posts|Comments Off on These spiders cause either death or 4 hour erections.

Christian businesses should be able to discriminate against LGBTQ persons…but…

Over the past few years we have heard of many Christian businesses and professionals coming under fire from the liberal left and those persons who consider themselves progressives. These crusaders say that they are social fighters against "injustice" and discrimination and they have decided that their view of  what constitutes social justice should force those who abide by God's laws and teachings to turn against the very fabric and understandings of their religion.  Christians Doctors are told that regardless of their religious beliefs, they should perform abortions.   Regardless of a Christian business owner's steadfast belief in the teachings of Christ, a growing number of people believe these businesses should be forced to perform services for homosexuals, bisexuals, transgender etc etc., Frankly I think it is wrong to force anyone to perform services for members of the LGBTQ community if doing so completely and utterly goes against the teachings of their religious faith. That is why when State Sen. Chuck Strohm (R) introduced the Oklahoma Religious Freedom Act, unlike many of you, I did not get all up in arms.   Then when Sen. Joseph Silk introduced a similar bill in the Oklahoma Senate on the grounds that the LGBTQ movement was challenging religious liberties and the freedom to live out Religious convictions, I shrugged and [...]

By |2015-03-13T09:05:43-05:00March 13th, 2015|2015 Posts|1 Comment

Woman Divorces Husband Over Massive Penis.

A Nigerian woman filed for divorce from her husband because his penis was too big, according to media reports. Aisha Dannupawa, a housewife and mother-of-three, asked for her marriage to husband Ali Maizinari to be dissolved due to his large manhood. Their divorce was granted after just one week of marriage in a Islamic Sharia court in Nigeria's Zamfara State. She told the court she had married Maizinari after her first marriage failed. As part of the local tradition, before settling into her husband's home the bride was invited to move into his parents' house. But it was only when the couple first had sex she claimed that the trauma began. (Bruh..she said the dick caused Trauma, son. Did y'all read that Planet Earth? Trauma.) 'When he came, we had sex but the experience was a nightmare. Instead of enjoying the sex, it turned out to be something else, because his penis was too big,' she told the court, according to Nigeria's Tribune. After their first unsuccessful attempt at making love, she took medication given to her by her mother. (Her momma gave her some damn chemical X, y'all. Momma tried to save her baby's inside parts from the dick). 'I told my mother the experience but she told me to endure [...]

By |2015-03-06T09:38:21-05:00March 6th, 2015|2015 Posts, Just Ignant|1 Comment

Maaybe God is trying to tell you something. Woman thrown from rolling car, through a church window.

I feel like, if this happened to the strongest of Athiests, they would LEAST have to wonder ass wonder... TRINITY, Texas -- A Texas woman is lucky to be alive after her rolling vehicle threw her through a church window into a pew early Tuesday morning. The accident happened about 4:30am near Highway 19 and F.M. 1617 in Trinity in east Texas. The Trinity Police Department says the woman was a passenger in the car with another man and an infant when the car left the roadway, flipping several times. Neither the man nor the woman had seat belts on and both were ejected from the vehicle. The infant was in a car seat and loosely seat-belted in and remained in the car unhurt. The woman could have been thrown into the side of the church, but luckily, went through a stained glass window before landing on the floor in front of a pew. The woman suffered only minor injuries, not even getting cut when thrown through the glass. Trinity Police Chief Steven Jones said the Trinity Chapel church is an historical building and thinks the brittle wood and stained glass of the window broke away easily. The male passenger was able to walk away after the accident and all three occupants [...]

By |2015-03-06T08:08:43-05:00March 6th, 2015|2015 Posts, Just Ignant|2 Comments

Stop posing people after they are dead ass dead, please.

When I first thought of this post I was going to approach it as: "Dear Brown people, stop posing your relatives after death." But then I remembered that actually this is a tradition that goes back to the first days of the camera. It was quite common for people to be photographed with their deceased children for one (shudders) as well as other close relatives. So this is not at all anything new and in some cultures it has a deep meaning. But i'm not a member of ANY of those cultures soooooooo I"M about to be judgmental and ignant ass ignant!!! Heeeere we go! An eccentric South American man known for his Green Lantern costume ended up wearing it even when he was dead, after being embalmed and dressed in the outfit to welcome guests to his own funeral. Renato Garcia, 55, had found the costume in a box next to be a bin in the city of San Juan, in the north-eastern Puerto Rico and was known for wearing it around his local area. When he died last week after suffering a severe asthma attack, his family decided it was appropriate that he was also buried in it. So after he was embalmed, his body was then propped up in the [...]

By |2015-02-27T09:28:41-05:00February 27th, 2015|2015 Posts, Just Ignant|5 Comments