Everyday as a family, my wife, myself and two sons enjoy an hours worth of tv after dinner before reading time and putting the boys down to bed. It’s a fun nightly ritual where we get the chance to indoctrinate our children on all things nerdtastic and awesome so that they too can know the beauty of nerdvana. The past several months it has been a time for us to watch Star Trek. I mean.. ALL of Star Trek. We started out with the original series and are now into season 5 of what I consider the BEST Star Trek series of them all: Deep Space 9.
On DS9, it features Avery Brooks in the role of Benjamin Sisko as the Captain of the station and ship; the USS Defiant. Sisko is a very strong and commanding character who leads his teams into epic battles and has stood toe to toe with some of the worst villains ever to be seen throughout the galaxy. But more than that, he is also a caring and devoted father the likes of which I personally am not sure we ever get to see on Television. Above Ward Cleaver, Cliff Huxtable, Tim Taylor or Dr Seaver, I would consider Benjamin Sisko THE strongest as well as most loving father figure ever on television.
One thing that truly stands out to me in the relationship he has with his son IS how caring and nurturing he is with the boy, later a man who stands taller than his father by season 5. He keeps a stern hand when a stern hand is needed but in more scenes than not you see the tow of them in loving embraces as well as Benjamin Sisko grabbing his son by the face and lovingly kissing him on his forehead and letting the boy know IN words that he loves him.
Now i don’t know about you, but I don’t remember seeing that very often on television OR growing up, and even now when I lsiten to men talk about raising their sons I constantly hear about the things they do to make them tough and to not make them soft. That “all that hugging” can make the boy weak and how “kissing your son” is out of the question because “you don’t ever want him too affectionate towards another man like that”.
W-why do people do this? I sincerely don’t understand? Whenever I have asked other men this question, I’m usually given the same:” Because that’s how we are as men!” ” because being a man isn’t about showing all those emotions.” “Emotions are weakness and you don’t want to raise a boy with all that emotional shyt”. And the other and most toxic reason i’ve been told: “My father didn’t do that shyt with me and i’m not doing it with my son either. All that emotional shyt is for women.”
Personally I remember my own father being that way and honestly when I became a father I then noticed how much our lack of emotional relationship growing up bothered me. Hell I was 30 before I remember my own father hugging me and telling me He loved me even though I grew up always knowing he did. The only kiss I ever shared with my dad was on his death bed and the last time I saw him and for the life of me I can’t understand why we wasted so many years on some macho foolishness. I can’t see why anyone would.
So what is it about expressing love to sons that worries us? “turning them soft?” ” making them gay?” What is it?
All I know is that it seems very unfortunate…..
But that’s just my opinion. What say you?