Guest posts do not always reflect the ideas or stances of the OHN staff yet we all agree that it’s great to get other perspectives.
So I was drifting through my news reader (RSSOwl) today and in one of my feeds (Lifehacker) I came across an article/ blog post/ whatever in the fugg you want to call it that gave me a moment of pause. The title of it was “Learn How to Eat Well on Just $35 a Week” and the first thought that popped into my mind was “my cell phone bill is $99 and change, my Xfinity bill is $136 and change and my Electric bill is on average $150 and change. Why in THEE Holy High Fugg would I consider skimping on the very thing I put in my mouth to sustain me over cutting these other bills out completely. Cause your a fat ass, that why. Fat, not phat, not big boned, huskey or pleasingly plump, just a fat ass fuggah. Now shut up and finish your Krispy Kreme doughnut and pass that bottle of Hersey’s chocolate sauce over here.”
Nah but seriously, it got me to thinking. Why is it ok to pay these high prices for the services we use on a day to day bases that on the surface seem like they are as great a necessity as food? Even at $35 a week in an average four week month that is $140 a month in groceries. My cable bill is $136 and change. I could trim it lower by removing the cable portion of my services. The remaining home alarm and internet connectivity are two things I can not live without. [Read that as: Peace of mind in security and the means to do my job to pay for this shit in the first place.] That would take my bill down to about $116 and change, a savings of just $20. How do I know this? The four and a half hours I spent on the phone with XFinity and them explaining how I’d be breaking some magical triple play bundle horse shit pricing I was getting and because I was cutting one of the services they were going to increase the prices of the other services to make up the difference for me not letting them fugg me. Or something there of like that, don’t quote me.
These are the things that float through my mind when in between bouts of ain’t shytness and general shenanigans. Why should I be denying myself good tasting and calorie laden foods for the sake of saving money? Why not write some letters to congress and complain about how the oligopoly system of telecommunications and my choices for an ISP has me bent over worse than that scene in Pulp Fiction? Cause it’s all one big scam. They will tell me if I get better pricing on my Internet, the price of my doughnuts is gonna reset to offset them not getting their campaign contributions from the Telecomms.
Or some happy horse shit like that…. mane what the fuck really.
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