Sports and Ish with Lurk

/Sports and Ish with Lurk

Lurk Sports! Are you ready for some football!

Welcome back, you gambling degenerates! Ya boy the Lurkasaurus is back to give his indispensible opinion on the week’s upcoming football games (capslock of justice) FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. (That should keep the lawyers and leg-breakers at bay.) So, IF you were to spend coin of the realm on a football wager, I’d recommend you do it this way: Packers at Seahawks (-5) If you like an upset, do not look here. Seattle is bringing everyone back from the team that put an epic beatdown on the most prolific offense the NFL had ever seen in last year’s Super Bowl…and it sez so right here that they STILL feel disrespected. Green Bay is good…but good enough to beat the defending champs in the loudest stadium known to man? Take the Seahawks and give the points. SEAHAWKS Vikings (+6.5) at Rams – The Rams will keep it close, because their defense is that good. Unfortunately, their offense was not all that good to begin with, and now they will have to soldier on without Sam Bradford. This is not to say that the Vikings are much better under center, but Matt Cassell is better than a corpse, and they still have Adrian Peterson to give the ball to on a regular basis. VIKINGS [...]

By |2014-09-20T15:50:09-05:00September 2nd, 2014|Blog Posts, Sports and Ish with Lurk|Comments Off on Lurk Sports! Are you ready for some football!

Sports and Ish with Lurk

Two Weeks Ago: 6-7 Season: 43 – 37 About Last Week: …wha? About The Week BEFORE Last Week: See, what had happened…I mean…welp…gaaaaaaaaaaaaah! San Diego was getting seven points And Lost By 8. That, friends and neighbors, is how you build luxury resort hotels and casinos in the desert. One more friggin’ field goal from the home-standing Chargers and I take home a moral victory and add $40 to the pile. One more friggin’ field goal. But NOOOOOOOO. The Chargers can’t cover in a Fuggin’ CLASSIC Trap Game (Denver HAD to be looking ahead to this past week’s tilt with league- and division-leading KC) and now Vegas is into my pocket for $170. Still Plenty of Seats Available: …on the Carolina Panthers (?!) bandwagon. Seriously, who saw this run coming? It was one thing when they were slapping around the teams already on the clock for next year’s draft, but beating San Francisco and New England in successive weeks has dramatically raised their profile. Looking back, that Week 1 game at Seattle (12-7 Seahawks) might have been more of a harbinger of good tidings than we might have realized. But It Might Be Time To Bail On:…San Francisco and Detroit. As Mike Ditka once said, you are what your record says you [...]

By |2013-11-21T22:03:23-05:00November 22nd, 2013|Sports and Ish with Lurk|1 Comment

Sports and ish with Lurk

Last Week: 7-4 Season: 37 – 30 The Genius Is Back! – Nothing like a flat-footed azz-whuppin’ against the number to make a man feel like a MAN, ya heard? 7-4 Out. Tha. Door! That will give me a niiiice return on my $1100 investment. Think about it. If you knew you could invest $1100 and call it $1360 a week later (that’d be $260 in the black), you wouldn’t even think about not doing it (unless it involved Colombian drug cartels, in which case one had better be dam sure…). Probably a good thing real money wasn’t involved, because this sort of thing can go to a brotha’s head. Still, it does feel good to know that I’m picking better than people who get paid to do this. But How Did You Beat The Number So Badly, Lurk? – There were two games that turned my entire week around for me in a good way. Both of them were of the come-from-behind variety. In the first one, the Steelers had somehow risen from the dead and were playing the Patriots to a friggin’ standstill. At one point, the game was tied at 24 apiece in the second half and I just stopped checking in because I just knew that I’d put [...]

By |2013-11-08T18:09:43-05:00November 8th, 2013|Sports and Ish with Lurk|Comments Off on Sports and ish with Lurk

Sports and Ish with Lurk

Last week: 6-6 Season: 30-26 Is 6-6 Better Than 5-6? Only to the uninitiated. While a 6-6 week against the number looks okay on paper, in reality it’s a loser…because of the juice. Remember, every losing bet is paying the house $10 on top of your Franklin. Thus, a 6-6 week means the house takes $660 of the $1200 pre-paid and hard-earned dollars you put down, and pays out $600 in ill-gotten gains supported by some other idiot’s gambling habit, which means that you actually LOST $60 bucks in what would appear to be a break-even week. The 6-6 week is how Vegas built a paradise in the desert. If a thousand guys break even, the house STILL gets $60,000 for that day’s action, and that doesn’t count the rake from the clear losers (which are generally half of all bettors anyway), nor does that count the rake from college football lines, money lines, prop bets, World Series bets (that pickoff throw to first to end Game 4 probably swung a few million dollars by itself)…I swear, if I were thismuch less honest (or thismuch braver), I’d run a sports book of my own and retire in three years… But I Did Call That Steeler Swoon – I even called Terrelle Pryor’s [...]

By |2013-10-30T21:31:41-05:00October 31st, 2013|Sports and Ish with Lurk|Comments Off on Sports and Ish with Lurk

Sports and ish with Lurk

Last week: 5-6 (again) Season: 24 - 20 Another Losing Week, Lurk? - Maaaan, I TOLE y'all this was for entertainment purposes, gat dammit! Don't get at me when Deebo 'n'nem come round ya house lookin' for juice that compounds daily! A'ight then, I admit I was WRONG about Dallas and Philly...who saw a defensive struggle out of them? But Miami SCREWED me...a daggone field goal puts me on the left side of the ledger and now I'M the one goin' around behind the barber shop lookin' for my money. But You Did Call That Colts Victory - The AFC contender field is beginning to shape up nicely. We already know about Denver...but I suspect we are still sleeping on Kansas City. Let's not forget that Denver is now looking UP at KC in their own division, and a bye week and a home game in the playoffs might go a long way to helping a QB on the wrong side of 35 with four (!!) neck surgeries recuperate. Meanwhile, the Colts now look like a mortal lock for a home game in the playoffs, and possibly a bye as well. If only the schedule didn't favor New England so much... Speaking Of New England - Here's what the rest of their [...]

By |2013-10-26T15:46:49-05:00October 26th, 2013|Sports and Ish with Lurk|Comments Off on Sports and ish with Lurk